Surviving an abusive relationship

Has anyone been in an abusive relationship where your partner abused verbally as well as physically. I have not been on this situation, however, I have seen many abusive relationship. I have an uncle, who is an alcoholic and hits his wife when he is in high. My uncle, despite being in abusive relationship, is still staying with her husband. I can never analyze how she can cope with that.
If you had been in an abusive relationship, how did you cope it?

 

I'm actually glad to report that I just escaped a three-year relationship that was extremely abusive just this week. Unfortunately, I had to use many survivalist skills to cope and survive this ordeal. Self-defense skills and financial planning skills played a huge role in my ability to find a way out. I tolerated it more lately because he was trying, but when I woke up on Sunday and he was already awake and violent, I knew it was my window of opportunity. Especially after he hit me in the face (which now has a cut and several swollen places that are finally almost healed), I had to call the police. They arrested him, but he was out the very next day. Fortunately, I was already gone. I'm not looking forward to seeing him in court, but if I don't go, they will drop the charges.

 

I can say that I have never been in an abusive relationship. I tend to hone into the behaviors that might result in that kind of situation and turn tail before its too late. However, growing up, my parents and aunt had their verbally abusive moments. They said a lot of things to me as a child that left me emotionally scarred for many, many years. Overtime, the insults transformed into a very sad perspective on life. I tried to commit suicide. My near death experience made them take a long, hard look at how they treated me. It's sad it had to come to that... but we learned a lot about ourselves. My father, who was one of the main perpetrators to my self-hatred, even apologized, which he'd never done before.

 

It is hard to have to go through that or to even see someone who you care about have to go through it.
I have been in an abusive relationship before. It was my first real relationship. He was 5 years older than me. I was 16. In the beginning, everything seemed to be perfect but then he changed to a completely different person. I did not recognize him anymore. He would hit me sometimes if I said or did something he did not like. Most of the time, he just emotionally abused me. It was terrible and scary especially when I wanted to end it because he started to stalk me. One time he stalked me all the way in the woods, he had a knife with him and threatened to kill me and kill himself. I had to escape that mess but it taught me so much in terms of protecting myself from such treatment.
I can understand both sides. Sometimes you want to believe the person who you are with will change some day and therefore you have hopes.

 

I had the experience of an abusive relationship under a former primary school classmate who invited me to stay with him in a town as I looked for job opportunities. He soon became jealous and insecure and started ordering me around. Many are the times we had serious verbal exchanges and thats how I stood my ground but made sure it didn't degenerate into a physical fight. I finally managed to look for a new rental plot and left him alone. Asserting your rights strongly and tactfully is the way to survive as you look for an escape window.

 

You have to get out of it. You women can do better. You guys don't need mental abuse for doing nothing. I think you guys should learn how to use knife and get a divorced. Looks mean nothing to real happiness.

 

I haven't been in one myself, but my cousin was in one for 8 years. She finally got the courage to divorce him and then her church made it difficult and banned her. She was Jehova's Witness and they made it seem like it was all of her fault for getting a divorce and they kicked her out of the church. It was such a mess.

 

I haven't myself - but I've seen friends go through it. It's heartbreaking, especially when you are doing everything you can to make them realize they need to get out of the situation. The two friends that went through it did end up eventually realizing that they needed to get out of those relationships for their mental well being, but I feel like it didn't matter what I said or did at times, they had to realize it for themselves. That broke my heart, because I just wanted to protect them...

 

While I may not have gone through it, I have seen some people close to me in abusive relationships. It has torn them apart with their self esteem hiting bottom low.

I can't believe how someone you love who claims to love you too find it okay inflict emtional or physical pain on you. It beats all logic. Isn't someone you love a treasure one should care about?

There are better ways of resolving any conflict in a loving relationship. Two mature people should be able to amicably agree or agree to disagree.

But the most unfortunate thing is, almost all people in abusive relationships always have this lie they keep telling themselves. That a partner will change for better.

From what I have observed, this hardly happens. My advice is, the moment someone inflicts any kind of pain on you, call it quits. You will have less to regret about than if you keep holding on.

 

I have just come out of 24years if being emotionally abused by my husband and I wished I had done it sooner.my ex is what is referred as a narcissist I am lucky to have my family and professional support around me to help me my biggest thing is to finally stop looking over my shoulder when I go out

 

Some people are slow learners!
Abuse starts very early on and only ever gets worse.
It won't get better, it wont hurt less.
Walk and walk early cus you can't fix them neither can they fix themselves!
The signs are there the day you meet them !

Thinking you love them is just bollocks!

 

I'm a guy and lived in a physical, mental, and emotional abusive relationship for 13 years
before I grew a set and moved out.
I lost most everything I had.
The great SHE was quite wealthy, owned a business, could afford a team of lawyers and I
could not.
I walked away from literal MILLIONS of bucks and got only a bit of equity in our house.
I was young, stupid, drank and partied and fell for her persistence and lots of sex.
"Beware the burning bush." is ya know what I mean.
I had custody of my three kids from a previous bad marriage, she had two of her own.
Naturally my three were "less than" her glorious, do nothing wrong" two.
A marriage formed in hell it was.
I left here with only some clothes and my beagle.
I survived quite well. I have a small ranch home on 15 acres and don't miss any meals.
I have peace.

If you are in an abusive relationship GET OUT.

There are lots of really decent single people that would love to meet you.