Are You A Fighter or a Flighter?

Or a combination of both.

Thinking back on some of the traumatic situations I've been in, I've exhibited both traits.

When my family's apartment caught fire, I remember freaking out for two seconds but then it was as if I was able to detach from my emotions. I calmly picked up my dog and told my sister we had to leave. And as the fire wore on, it was like I got calmer while everyone else was crying or freaking out.

But I remember when I was younger and a robber entered our house, I hid under the bed.

Maybe fight or flight has to do with age or the severity on the situation. Everyone can perceive the severity differently.

What are your thoughts?

 

I am not a fighter by any means. If there is an intruder in our house, I would probably cower in fear in one corner. The most I can do is to make a plea not to harm me or my family. However, speaking of family, I cannot say how I would react if they would be hurting my family. Maybe I would be on a suicide mode as to fight. In all my life, I had never experienced fighting. In the quarrels that I figured in, I always keep silent and just avoid my enemy. I don't know why I am like that when that situation arises, maybe it is my religious orientation because I am a devout Catholic.

 

For me, it depends on the situation. There are times where I want to and have to stand my ground, but there are times that I realize that fight is a lost cause. I think you really have to assess the situation at hand and determine possible outcomes of fighting. You have to decide if it's a fight you can win. I'm all about being optimistic, but I'm also a realist. Thinking a scenario through and creating an action plan is the best way to improve your chances in a fight scenario. Action backed by thinking is always the best.

 

I am totally a fighter. For every bad situation I've been in--the harrowing, the frightening, the downright freakish--I've always stood up for myself or have been unusually calm and collected. Adrenaline pretty much drives me forward rather than away.
I don't think there's a flight switch in my brain haha.

 

i'm more a flighter if i'm in a 1v1 situation. Although,if im in a group, i will help my peers and fight with them.

 

Flight has never been an option for me!
The limit in that regard is a tactical withdrawl when its a fight I can not win there and then!

 

I RUN! I learned early on in my life that what you resist persists. The harder you push, the harder you get pushed back. So I have always avoided fights at all costs. And so far this has worked for me. Robber comes at me... I'll hide and let him take whatever he wants and leave. Someone is rude to me on the road, it's not my fight.They are battling their own personal demons and I've learned that if I just leave them to it, in time they leave me out of it!

 

I think I'm a combination of both as well, but mostly a flighter. I don't usually freak out in difficult situations, but running is necessary. I'd do the same thing you did if I was in your situation: I'd grab my dog, my family and my most valuable belongings (the ones with sentimental value, not what the insurance will replace), and run. What else could you do? If it was a small fire, maybe a fire extinguisher would help, but if it got out of control, you shouldn't be the one to put it out.

 

I think being a combination of the two is the best way to be. While you should stand and fight on most occasions, I also think that you need to know when to 'flight' as well. at the end of the day, self preservation is utmost in our minds at all times, and so while in our hearts we might want to stand and fight in every situation, we should listen to our head and realise that on some occasions there will be a fight that we can't win.

Winning the war rather than the battle is the most important thing, and if that means that sometimes we have to make a tactical retreat, just so we can fight another day, then so be it.

 

I think I'm also a combination of both, but I have never been in a life-or-death situation.

When I get sensory overload in a group of peers, I often leave abruptly. However, when I get sensory overload around authority members or superiors, I get much more confrontational and will "call them out" on things instead of leaving the scene.

 

A fighter. Although I would prefer to run away, I don't have much choice but to act the way I'm suddenly thinking to how cope with the risky situation immediately. If I don't act, I am not in a position to demand others to act either. That's the way I think. I fight smart I guess.

 

I'm both, although it depends on the scenario. If I know that my enemy is at a disadvantage or that I have the upperhand, then I'll strike with all my strength, however, if I do realize that I'm at a disadvantage, then I'd honestly run with no shame at all. There's a difference between being a coward and a rational thinker.

 

The word coward will often be banded about if people are talking about those that choose to run instead of standing to fight, and personally I don't think that's actually fair on a lot of occasions. As we've talked about already I think the fight or flight trigger is something that's just in us from when we are born, and something we can't actually control ourselves.

People who run probably turn round and think that them that stand and fight are just as idiotic but the world needs both kinds of people, the fighters and the ones that do the thinking behind the front-line.

 

I'm definitely a fighter. Like most above, been in different situations, some better than others, and there's only one way I choose: take no prisoners. I've always been one to never back down, it's just not in my nature. I am definitely a firm believer in by any means necessary. However, it's your choice and when in a fight, you have to be able to fight smart. How do you think some of our boxers or even MMA fighters prevail? They fight smarter, not harder. Even in something that happens all of a sudden, anticipate. For some, it may take some time to get used to. But for others, it will come as second nature. After all, it is usually something that we all have in us, it's just that some have never had to use it.

 

Am I the only flighter? I don't want to be the biggest, baddest, or prove a damn thing. I just want to live another day without being seriously injured. My instinct is to hit the ground running. I have no confidence in my ability to fight though and have little experience defending myself. The times I have tried to, I was beat down rather quickly. Perhaps I am just a softie. I don't exactly lay down, cover myself in peanut butter and ask bears to eat me. If cornered and I have to I will try to fight but won't last long. Most of the time if running is an option, I'm out of here.

 

There's been times I've done either. I think it just depends on the situation. I will run like crazy if it is more beneficial for me to do so. But if I am left with no choice, I will fight like crazy,too.

 

Once I came home while in the middle of being burglarized. TV's and stereos all over the floor and sheets pulled off the beds, bundled full or our belongings, front door smashed in. When I first saw it, I went tearing into the house, yelling "Who the hell is in my house??!!" I don't know if that's called being a fighter or just being stupid. At other times my fear has paralyzed me, and I kept a very low profile. So I guess it depends on the circumstances.

 

As a brand new LEO, getting in a good fight was fun. It didn't take long to learn that I could get in more fights than I wanted without trying and fighting could get you hurt.
Running away was not an option, but can be in the real world. It's a decision only you can make depending on the threat, continuance of the threat and your abilities.
Much depends on the situation. Many times a fight avoided is the way to go. Other times, a fight is the only option. Be prepared to do both and you'll live longer.
I never shied away from a fight when one was necessary. I fought to win; there is no other way.
Always be prepared to fight if you must. Don't let fear control you. Learn how to defend yourself and practice with a like minded friend. When you have confidence in yourself, you will find you will get in less fights. Why, because others, especially criminals are experts in sizing someone up. Look like a victim, you'll be a victim. Walk tall with confidence and many criminals will pick another target. Most criminals are cowards and will go for the easy mark.
In a life or death fight, there are no rules, do what you have to do to survive.
I prefer to talk down than take down, but will not hesitate a second when I deem it necessary to fight.
Every fight you get into is a chance for injury, but not fighting may get you killed. If attacked, fight with all you're worth. Stopping too soon and giving the other person the chance to re engage you can also be deadly. How many movies have you watched where a homicidal maniac is trying to kill someone and the person hits them once and they go down, only to get back up a few seconds later when the idiot has turned their back on them and kill them. I'm always screaming at the T.V., hit em again.
The way you hold yourself will many times make the difference between being attacked or left alone. Look like you will tear a person to shreds and then eat their liver and many will choose to back off. To some, that look is a look of disrespect (anyone who has done time, gang bangers etc.). They will fight you out of honor if for no other reason. No two people or situations are the same. I learned to read situations well, but I was in a job where I was exposed to those situations on a daily basis.
If the SHTF, be assured that anyone who attacks you is doing so to put you down and take what is yours. Fight for your life with everything you have and don't stop until the threat is neutralized. In the everyday world, going further than necessary or being the aggressor could get you locked up. Common sense always is the rule.
Go after my family and I'll destroy you with all I have.

 

i'm more a flighter if i'm in a 1v1 situation. Although,if im in a group, i will help my peers and fightwith them.

 

I'd have to say I'm more of a flighter, though I wouldn't be intimidated if I had a companion. Anyone have simple tips to help improve fight or flight response? I know it's a psychological thing, but I firmly believe you can improve it.

 

We I am a fighter always have been but in the last 20 years I been one to try and reason with people.

 

I avoid fights whenever possible but there may be times when it is impossible to do so. I would also fight if my loved one or pet was attacked. It is just one of the things that is almost instinstual. I think that you might do anything to defend your loved ones.

 

I might be a flighter, but somethings I also fight. Every time there is a situation where I need to consider whether I fight or run away, I always try to look at the best solution possible with my way of thinking. More like, I always try to differ whether it is something I can change / fix or something that is meant to happen. If I were in the same situation as you were, of course I would do the same thing and try to get everything out, especially my family ( and that includes my dog ) but if it was a situation where a robber with a knife came into my house, I'd warn my family and get a knife because I heard I'm a good stabber.

 

The situation would dictate what I would be. Sometimes making a hero move is good but also sometimes being a coward guarantees you seeing the next moment.

 

I'll fight if need be.
Been there done that a lot. Injured a lot.
Fight fair?

That's soooooooooooooooooo funny.
I'm well trained in unarmed combat and the first rule is that there are no rules.

 

It depends on the threat.
If someone breaks into my house, I'm aching to try these hollowpoints that cost me quite a penny!!!
If someone pulls a knife on me, I'll throw my wallet a distance behind him for him to go for it, AND RUN LIKE HELL!!!
If a flood hits...well, if my house is still standing, just bear it out and clean up after...
If a fire hits, gosh sakes, get the f*ck out!
If a pandemic spreads...I'm outta the Philippines!

 

Genetically, I'm a fighter. The men in my family shot people. My dad had a tendency to take a blackjack to other men's heads. Even as a child, I beat up bullies. I am working on controlling my aggression -- it's never too late to improve one's behavioral patterns. To me, injuring other men feels really, really good. I can't help it, but like I said, I'm working on it with help.

 

That's kinda cool!

When I was a teenager, I studied a lot of fighting styles. I had a punching bag of sand in our house to harden and numb up my fists. On a regular basis, I'd hit them till my fists bled. Eventually, it was so easy to break things with my fists. I got to use them a few times when I challenged the bullies in school...but I took no pleasure in hurting other people.

Eventually, I outgrew that hobby...especially when I discovered a liking for guns...

 

No it isn't cool. One should NEVER lose control of their emotions. I wrecked a car at age 16 because I'd lost my temper. I've lost a knuckle. My dad was worse; one time he was going to open fire on two men for intentionally running our dog over with their car -- they deserved death, however in civilization, one cannot become judge and jury, you just can't. Because of my age, I have innumerable stories appertaining (and bad x-rays where bones have healed incorrectly).

And it is embarrassing. I think about how much trouble / jail time the men of my family could have gotten saddled with. Had an uncle who did vigilante stuff. He'd been in the thick of combat during WWII and brought the war back home with him. He did some good, he rode with law enforcement folk (most vigilante crews contain both cops and civilians) , however God only knows how many innocent people he terrorized. I am extremely proud of him for what he accomplished in the war, but for what he did afterwards he's now standing before the Lord. And like I said before, my father's emotions overwhelmed his ability to lead a normal life.

Rein in your emotions or they will dominate your life. Please listen to me; I want to scream this out. Don't let emotions rule you!

 

i am not a fighter although i always fight when there is trouble or when protecting myself from bullys

 

Really depends on the situation. But I have found that showing a determined willingness to fight and not being a small person has deterred the need to fight. As I get older, the idea of engaging in a fight sounds just too painful. But the willingness to engage is there if threatened, only now I would look for quickest way to end the fight in my favor and that means there is no rules to survival, I will survive by whatever it takes and if that means using my firearm, or the first thing I can grab I will.

 

I'm too big to fly and so have never been much for even trying that so I am just about all fight by default. Now, that said, I don't ever fight fair and so will generally offer an alternative first and if that doesn't work I am big on preemptive strikes. If I strike first it isn't a fight though it is just a beating. Fighting involves allowing the other person to hurt you also and I'm very much against that. If I am somehow forced to fight there are no rules and nothing is out of bounds. I will bite you, kick you and gouge an eye out. I seldom make a fist and instead of trying to punch you in the face I will rather stab you in the throat with a blade hand then grab you by the hair and knee you in the face or offer you an elbow up beside the head. So far I have found this sort of thing to be extremely effective. Three muggers found out the hard way that people don't all just allow them to have their way. I usually laugh at them and then act before they understand their mistake. Fortunately I am a big boy and seldom allow things to reach that sort of ugliness.

 

Wow...I'm curious, did you have any formal training?

 

No, but I got beat up a few times when I was a kid and took the time to learn how to defend myself and do it well. The problem with being a big kid was that you end up being a target for older kids. If you are big people basically don't understand that you are still not mature. Even when I was defending myself I would end up being called a bully because I hit someone smaller than me. I was 6' tall when I was 13 or 14. Unfortunately I stopped growing by the time I was 16 and am the runt of the family at 6' 2". I wasn't big on fighting and didn't have a reputation for being bad...but everyone noticed that those that did have the reputations didn't mess with me.

LOL, along with being big and oddly strong and fast for a big guy I liked "magic and always wanted to know how things were done. After someone saw me break a baseball bat or rip a 3' telephone directory in half length way they were convinced that I might be better left alone. I had a really weird reputation in high-school. I was a weight lifting football nerd geek redneck hippie and crazy to boot. I took algebra 1 in the 7th grade and was in a lot of nerd special classes. This was really odd for someone that played football and spent as much time as I did in the gym. I was bi-polar, suffering and basically just wanted to be left alone. I had anger issues and after I knocked out (KOed and carried off the field by legal blows. Head slaps were legal at the time and there was a trick to doing it right.) three guys in one football game most were willing to leave me alone.

Fighting is more about knowledge than anything else. I took the time to learn where nerves are easily struck and how to apply leverage such that any blow is much more effective. You know those things at the fairs where you hit a board and make a weight run up a cable to ring a bell? That is more about knowing than strength though strength helps. I used to do it one handed. Don't be impressed though; I taught my best friend how to do it and he was 5' 4" and only weighed 135 lbs. But it looks bad and the girls liked the stuffed bears.

Defending yourself is about learning where to hit, how to hit to maximize the damage and pain and planning ahead then practicing the moves so that when you need to do it muscle memory allows you to do it lightning fast and accurately. I am rather intelligent and went at this like I might an engineering problem. The big thing is that I looked at what boxers did and at what the karate people were doing and then took what I learned and did things that neither group was allowed to do. People think that pro-fighters are bad but they have rules and those rules create problems for them in a street fight. People don't understand this and so try to fight like them and will get their heads tore off by someone that does the unthinkable.

There are things that trigger real fear in people. Someone that wouldn't be phased by a punch in the face will freak when someone instead throws a bear hug on them and then bites them in the face! Bite a chunk out of someone and they are usually done. Hit them in the throat and they will gag and can't breathe, SLAP them with an open hand on their ear and it can cause a concussion or aim a little lower so the heal of your hand strikes the side of the jaw and it will break or dislocate. A side kick to the knee if their foot in planted will put them down and unable to get back up. Breaking your hand hitting someone in the head just isn't productive. Survival fighting isn't a sport and there is only one aim and rule. Do as much damage to your opponent as you can while receiving a little damage as possible! Most of my moves are aimed at ending the fight as quick as I can.

Thugs and muggers usually lack the intelligence or dedication to be very dangerous. Gouge them in the eyes and they get all whiny. Kick their knee cap so it is on the side of their leg and they are usually done or nearly crush their wind pipe and they will lose interest in you.

 

Wow, you inspire me!

Unfortunately, in our country, thugs come in packs. Only one will be facing you with a knife, but secretly, there are two or three behind you with knives too. So, it may be the most prudent to just surrender the wallet and phone...

 

I am a fighter all the way even at the cost of losing friends.

Talking about fighting I did that with an online shopping site. I received some rotten stuff and as per their terms I am not supposed to get a refund but I took it up with Management not a normal route and I am getting refunded. I am now in the process of having that seller out from there.

 

Packs or gangs can be handled. I've delt with that problem twice. First off you never show fear. I smile and maybe laugh when a mugger or gang tries to bother me. When it is a pack or gang of thugs I back into a place where they can only come at me from one direction. Then I start talking to them. This makes them see me as a person and gives me time to decide where I need to go.

I always carry a knife and have since I was a little kid...now I carry a handgun. Either will do the job. I eventually get around to telling them what is going to happen next. Either they are going to decide that I'm more trouble than they are worth or we are going to have a problem. By this time I have slowly got my knife in hand and opened it. I love a knife that I can easily open one handed. I will then show them my little knife, shave a little hair off the side of my arm and grin at them. I explain that for me this is a great day to dance and that I have no doubt that they are men enough to take me down. Their problem is that someone is going to be the first and second to get to me and I am going to for sure gut the first one and probably one more. I smile real big and tell them that I have always wanted to die in battle and will enjoy the dance. Then I raise my eyebrows and ask the question. "Ok Gentleman whats it going to be and if we are going to dance who is going to be first. Then in both cases I slowly walked out and away. I guess nobody wanted to dance with me bad enough to take the chance of being the one that got there first.

Understand, I said that you never show fear. That doesn't mean that I'm not scared spitless and usually need a bathroom AS SOON as possible after it is over. Sadly it is the fear that feeds the aggression of most thugs and punks. They are afraid and hiding it behind their thuggish behavior. When you refuse to play the game by their rules this makes them EXTREMELY nervous. They see you as either maybe truly that bad or even worse you are crazy as hell and you never know what a crazy person will do. People fear madness it bothers them a lot.

In my case it is some of both. I am big and am going to mess someone up really bad if they make me fight. I'm also just crazy enough to have the crazy reaction of laughing or grinning when I'm afraid. It drove one of my teachers crazy because when she would get angry at me and yell at me I would grin and that just infuriated her. I couldn't help it! I just do that. I think that at some deep level I'm not really smiling, I'm showing my teeth like a wolf. My Avatar really is a bit real for me and I've always had a wolf as my spirit guide. It looks like a grin or big smile though and seems to bother people that are trying to intimidate me a lot.

PS: I will admit that it is really stupid to fight over your wallet or some trivial personal possession. I'm crazy and just can't do it. It isn't that I place such a high value on my possessions. Usually I don't carry enough cash to buy them much more than a couple bottle of booze. What I TRULY DO VALUE is my peace of mind and my self-respect. I am not and will not be a victim!! If I GIVE them what they want then I know that they own me and can do it again.

I have two daughters and I taught both to fight like hell if someone tried to rape them. They have the tools to do it but even if they lose they won't have to feel like they were just a helpless victim. That is a just awful thing and will lead to being afraid all the time since you then know that they can do it again and again because you will just LET them do it. One of my daughters got beat up but when it was done she came away happy because she had put some serious hurt on several of them and sent one to the hospital.

For me, remember, I'm crazy, I would rather get beat or killed than spend the rest of my life afraid or feeling like a helpless victim.

 

I can defend myself if I need to.
I avoid fights if I can and finish them as fast as I can if I can't avoid them. I can't afford to get prosecuted for a public order offence. As soon as it is possible I will walk away to be able to maintain that I was acting in self defence.
Yes, I will also run away if I need to, there is no point trying to beat the odds when they're badly stacked against you.

 

Must this always be unarmed combat?

 

I agree totally, NEVER SHOW FEAR. I have had some folks approach me. Sure as to what was going down. I turned to face them. Talked to them. Give them the choice of fight or walk away. I never show a weapon. So far never been faced with a group. I usually have at least one knife. Everything goes into like hyper speed for me or the world goes into slow mo and I keep working at what feels like a normal speed to me and everything else is in slow mo. Its crazy. This effect has happened many times to me.

I live very near the worst part of Tulsa. Once a neighborhood near here was listed as one of the worst in the US. Not sure I completely agree with that but its a bad area. Someone was shot and killed at a chicken shack and the people kept on getting there orders and stepping over the body while waiting for the police to arrive.

 

Carrying arms in the UK would mean that any violent response on your part could not be regarded as self defence. Being armed would mean that you had planned a violent act.
Under British law you are able to respond with proportionate force and if you are in immediate fear for your life or the life of another you may even kill the attacker...but you must not demonstrate any premeditation of violence, you must also stop as soon as your attacker is no longer a threat. If you've used a weapon in self defence it must be a weapon of opportunity, something that you would legally have to hand.

 

Ystranc: In a country where the police are unarmed. Makes sense.

 

That isn't quite the case, there is an armed response team within a few minutes away when you're in a city and many of the IR cars in the countryside carry a firearms trained officer.
You usually only see them if there is a high risk of terrorism or at critical infrastructure sites, airports or government buildings but they are there all the same.

 

What about the average officer?

 

I was the firearms instructor on my department
among other things.
Cops are not gun people.
The gun is just part of the uniform
Most cops I encountered were lousy marksmen.
I was quite good with a handgun and got into
p.p.c. competition and won several trophies.
I love shooting.
I shoot regularly at my 125 yard range behind
my house.
7 feet, 25, 50, 75, 100 & 125 yards.
I think I have 26 handguns in various configurations and calibers.
Favorite? 1911 .45 auto. Mine are Kimbers
and Colt Gold Cup Trophy among others.
I think I have a Rock Island in 9mm.
Love my Smith 8 3/8" stainless in .41 magnum.

 

Pea

Practice & training. Self control is one true thing only you have control over. But it takes practice.

 

I'd openly admit I am a flighter.

I think pre and post event I would be a tactician, and be able to think clearly about what I would and wouldn't do, but none of that matters if you can't think clearly in a battle.