Benign Vs Grey Man

Discussion in 'Mental Preparedness' started by pacmantacman, Jul 1, 2019.

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  1. pacmantacman

    pacmantacman Expert Member
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    I hear a lot of talk about being the Gray man. Blending in and not being noticed. With the opposite being overt and displaying a strong show of force. I think that’s a great in theory but often situationally doesn’t play out in reality. In reality you often can’t avoid being noticed, yet don’t want to escalate things either.

    I think how you really want to come off in most situations is benign. It’s more about an attitude or vibe than anything else. Armed or unarmed I can, tactically dressed or blending in with my clothing, either way I’m putting off a vibe.

    Real expert profilers and even casual untrained observers are typically reading more of your demeanor and body language rather than the clothing you a wearing or gear you have. Who cares if you have a camouflage jacket.

    Demeanor is foundational in my opinion. You want to seem benign, but typically also put out clues that you are not a pushover. There might be a time, or a moment when you want to come off as aggressive, or a threat.

    But generally you want to appear “capable but benign.” And As you study others it’s a major thing you are trying to observe about others. Learn to ready subconscious behavior.

    For instance when I travel overseas I carry a metal water bottle in my hand for defense. I’m a big guy, and I hold it like a weapon in my hand. But NOBODY registers it as a weapon, because everything else about screams, I am not going to hurt you. If I changed my demeanor the water bottle would immediately be a concern for many.
     
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  2. TMT Tactical

    TMT Tactical The Great Lizard !
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    Sorry, but I seem to lose the distinction between being "Benign" and being the "Grey Man".
     
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  3. Sourdough

    Sourdough "ALASKAN"
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    I have a good book about post SHTF survival, What is funny and interesting is he actually does this stuff he talks about. There are a fair amount of photos. So one day he see's if he can cross 4 1/2 miles downtown across a city with 3 or 4 firearms, an AR-15 fully assembled, 8 loaded 30 magazines, food for weeks and pots and pans, sleeping bag, tent. You get the idea.

    He wears two very different type footwear one old 12" boot and one white jogging shoe. Gets old rags from goodwill that are five sizes to big, dresses like a homeless person. Puts mud on his face, some camo face paint, drags the clothing through the mud, even smears "Limburger Cheese" on the clothes so they stink. Has two carts, one old grocery cart, and one old golf bag cart. He pulls one and pushes the other. The ready to fire AR-15 is in the golf cart.

    He said he not only wanted people to not pay any attention to him, he wanted them to avoid him, largely because of the smell (Stench). He had full battle rattle gear with him. Said even the corner police got out of his way. I think he did it roughly mid-day.
     
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  4. Sourdough

    Sourdough "ALASKAN"
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    So now you got your Stinky disgusting repulsive man.
     
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  5. pacmantacman

    pacmantacman Expert Member
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    Really?
     
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  6. TMT Tactical

    TMT Tactical The Great Lizard !
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    Yeah, "REALLY".
     
  7. pacmantacman

    pacmantacman Expert Member
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    Copy
     
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  8. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    The grey man concept has to do with going unnoticed. Looking benign can be pretty obvious and even draw attention but you are seen as someone that is no possible threat. I can easily become very benign looking if I want to. Grey my hair and become a fragile bent worn out the old man and I may be noticed but not seen as a threat. If bothered I suddenly can stand up straight draw a weapon and it is as if I am suddenly transformed. A sword in a walking cane is great for this sort of thing.

    In Texas, nearly anything is legal for self-defense. They just this year legalized brass knuckles, maces, and batons for casual carry. If you use them in defense they are totally legal. If you use them to attack someone you are in deep trouble. We penalize the criminal use of weapons and not the good honest people that want to defend themselves.
     
  9. GrizzlyetteAdams

    GrizzlyetteAdams Crap Creek Survivor
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    Good explanation, which I needed to read because at first, I didn't quite "get" the benign thing in the OP.


    .
     
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  10. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    because of the way I look and dress I can never be a grey man, we often say "once seen never forgotten", however I once had someone try to throw themselves through a shop front window just to avoid me, I also had people cross the road for the same reason, so there are positives to being different.
    I think the trick is no so much grey man but to not make yourself look a target, thieves will look for an easier target especially if you look like you are aware of what is going on around you, they will look for someone with their head in a mobile phone screen.
     
  11. GrizzlyetteAdams

    GrizzlyetteAdams Crap Creek Survivor
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    Haha! So there ARE advantages to looking like a cross between a ZZ Top band member and Sasquatch! Nobody will mess with you, unless they mistake you for a musician and ask for your autograph. But then, you could just growl at them and they will beat feet and leave you alone, lol.



    .
     
  12. TMT Tactical

    TMT Tactical The Great Lizard !
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    Okay, thanks to TexDamn, I understand the point the OP was trying to explain. With my new found understanding, I am going to stay with Grey Man. To me, the best option is to go completely unnoticed. The Benign approach could simply attract the predators, looking for an easy target. What you don't see (notice) you don't attack. YM2C.
     
  13. Sourdough

    Sourdough "ALASKAN"
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    This whole Gray Man thing assumes, there are a few or several other humans in the general area, which the Gray man is relative to. If there area no other humans, then you can't possible act and dress as Gray man. If humans are not common to that area.
     
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  14. Sonofliberty

    Sonofliberty Master Survivalist
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    True and a very cogent point for those of us planning to avoid population centers during SHTF/WROL/TEOTWAWKI
     
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  15. TMT Tactical

    TMT Tactical The Great Lizard !
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    True but then there would not be a need to be anything but a survivor. The bears will not care how you are dressed or not dressed.
     
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  16. EarlyMarksman

    EarlyMarksman Well-Known Member
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    When I think of the gray man I think of someone who displays a sense of operational security. Someone who realizes the situation he can create by sharing information regarding his preps.
    For example, that co-worker that you've known for some time might have extensive knowledge on firearms and even has food stockpiled for years. It's a matter of looking and acting like the rest of society and not bringing any attention to yourself.
     
  17. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    never share info on your preps! remember OPSEC.
    that co worker MIGHT have firearms knowledge or even his own preps but if he hasn't you've just told him where to get supplies he can loot(or attempt to) after the collapse.
     
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  18. EarlyMarksman

    EarlyMarksman Well-Known Member
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    Right, when I said create a situation that's what I meant.
     
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  19. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    not sure what you mean. but then I trust no one.
     
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  20. EarlyMarksman

    EarlyMarksman Well-Known Member
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    I was saying that the gray man doesn't share any information regarding his preps. When I used the example of "it's your co-worker" I was saying that you need to be able to work beside someone for years without them ever having a thought that you might be a prepper.
    I was trying to get the original person who posted the thread to understand that, for all they know their neighbor or co-worker has stockpiles in their homes, but because they've enacted the gray man policy within their own mind you have no idea.
    Did I explain that well enough?
     
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  21. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    yes, but I think the best idea is to try and find out if the co-worker has the sort of info and skills, I assume your thinking about some kind of group or mutual co-operation, without giving away your own preps. at least that is how I would go about it IF I was going to(I'm not).
     
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  22. EarlyMarksman

    EarlyMarksman Well-Known Member
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    No that's not what I was implying.
     
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  23. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    don't see the point then.
     
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  24. Dalewick

    Dalewick Expert Member
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    If you want to keep a secret, tell NO ONE! If you feel you have to share it anyway. Write it on a piece of paper and immediately, BURN IT.

    I have also found out (informed by my kids & family) that you can't change who you are. I used to think I blended in with the local population really well,...NOT. I've been informed I still stand out like a sore thumb because of the way I carry myself, how I act and how I talk. My conduct gives me away. It apparently doesn't matter if I'm in blue jeans, boots and a flannel shirt or a 3 piece suit, my military experience changed me from the rest of the populace.

    How many of you also conduct yourselves differently than the locals, but you don't know it. Something to keep in mind if grayman is part of your plan.

    Dale
     
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  25. TMT Tactical

    TMT Tactical The Great Lizard !
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    Walking with great posture and having your head on a swivel, does tend to make a person stand out. Clothing is only part of the process. Military haircut (buzz cut) may not prove you are military (ex-military) but it will draw attention in the long haired groups. Somebody looking like a bum but walking and acting like a drill Sargent, will draw attention. If you look like, walk like and smell like a bum, then people assume you are a bum. Forget the smell or posture and somebodies red flag just got raised. Just like acting ---- There are thousands of actors but very few really good actors.
     
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