Dealing with loneliness

Discussion in 'Mental Preparedness' started by Damorale, Jun 21, 2016.

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  1. Damorale

    Damorale Active Member
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    I've been thinking of some ways you might be able to deal with loneliness in a survival situation. Hopefully these might help some people. If anyone has any other suggestions, please share them.

    Writing letters or a journal

    If I'm feeling lonely, sometimes I write letters. There's no intention to ever send them, but it feels a little like socialising. Pretending to yourself that the letters you write are for someone or anyone.

    Talking to yourself

    Not necessarily out loud, as it wouldn't always be realistic to talk to yourself, especially if trying to remain hidden. But you can have conversations with yourself, ask yourself questions and answer them. There's no shame in doing it if you're lonely. You will probably quite like spending time with yourself!

    Talking to those you have lost

    Many people already do this, but in a world where you have likely lost all of your friends and family, talking to them might offer some comfort. Your beliefs might go against the idea that they can hear you, but there's no harm in talking to the memory of a person you've loved. It could offer some comfort and reassurance.

    Accepting solitude

    Not all people or animals need to socialise, and I think we have been conditioned to think that socialising is extremely important. The reality is that if you are intelligent your mind can often keep itself busy enough without needing verbal input from others. You can shed yourself of the programming you have been through for your entire life which tells you that you must surround yourself with others.

    Externalise

    I know someone who had therapy for anxiety and he told me some interesting things about the way our minds work when we are anxious. I think we can apply it to loneliness. Anxious people think internally. They are more aware of their body, or their minds, than anything around them. I think this would be the same for lonely people. We are constantly thinking about how lonely we are, how we just need someone to talk to or a friendly touch on the shoulder. But to bring ourselves out of this internal obsession, we just have to pay more attention to the external world. Force yourself to observe more closely the things around you. Stop and pay attention to the things and places you can see.

    This is why people say when you have depression you should go walking outside. Because you will find it more difficult to focus inwards if your surroundings are distracting.
     
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  2. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    I see in the local paper there was an item about old people being lonely, blimey, what a pathetic nation we have become, suck it up and get a backbone brits!!
    i'm just happy when the phone stops ringing and the cold callers stop banging on the door, I LOVE being left alone, cant get enough of it, but then I was born that way.
     
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  3. Iohndee

    Iohndee New Member
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    As far as loneliness is concerned, I only know it by description. I have never experienced it. Am I an introvert? No. I love socializing and meeting new people.

    But the moment I am alone I also find relief in the fact that this is a time with myself. I can reflect on my life, let my imagination ran wild, have small silent talks with myself and of course have time to read, watch and do my favorites.

    A moment or time alone even in the wilderness doesn't have to turn out to be a lonely one. Learn to be with yourself, have fun with yourself, do the things love and can do them alone.
     
  4. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Expert Member
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    I've been a lonewolf for the better part of my life and loneliness does get to me, especially when I'm on a surviving trip and I would love to have a friend that shares the same passion. I love keeping a journal of what I do throughout the day and expressing my thoughts, I feel like that helps me deal with loneliness for a short period of time.
    It's probably one of the hardest things to deal with in life.
     
  5. schiavonecalvin

    schiavonecalvin New Member
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    Loneliness is a figment of the imagination to people with imagination. If you have ever come across an eccentric or artistic person you will learn that they developed their skills in the depths of solitude. I am ever fond of being alone because it has led me to lead the way with my own thoughts as the driver instead of following somebody else. I sit in silence to myself most of the time, but when I do speak I must say that others are usually quite shocked to hear my thoughts. I am glad to have that unique point of view, so i don't want to stay around too many others. I don't want to pick up their ideas I need my own more.
     
  6. NormaD

    NormaD New Member
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    I agree with you. A lot of people would go mad if they had to spend an hour with themselves, so they are the ones trying to convince us that being alone is the same as being lonely. You can be alone, but if you have learned to love yourself, then you are never lonely. You will always have your thoughts, your passions, your dreams, your hopes to keep you company. Personally, I prefer to be alone sometimes. Even as a kid I used to hide in the cupboard just to get away from the other kids so I could have a few minutes of ' me' time.
     
  7. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    I prefer to be alone all the time, its my natural state, I was brought up that way, I have spent more time alone than I have with other people.
    I think this is why most people bang on about man being a "social animal" and "no man is an island" because most people have been programmed that way, most people could not survive alone, they actually need other people to survive, that's why they go on about groups, they think lone wolves cannot make it alone, but if you are used to being alone and thinking for yourself then you can.
     
  8. Para173

    Para173 Well-Known Member
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    People need to learn to watch what is going on around them. There are all sorts of things moving around you in the wild and cities if you learn to watch, carefully watch, for what's moving around near you. Life is not static. There is no reason to be bored at all. Just sit out in your back yard and watch all the birds moving around, take notes on them and their movements. Do they move more in the morning or in the evening? Do you have a plan to lure them in should you need to use them as a food source? What can you use for a trap to catch them? Got any ideas on how to catch those pesky squirrels that run from tree to tree? Say, is that one plant out back poisonous or edible? There is all sorts of stuff out there for a curious person to think about, ponder and research. There's really no reason for a survivalist to be bored.
     
  9. JMS

    JMS Member
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    Yes, I have seen it a number of times about how the old folk can get lonely. Well, what about me huh? I'm on my own, and I'm not old yet. Shouldn't I be feeling lonely? Well, I'm not. I can't get lonely with two dogs under my feet all day. Disturbing me every 5 minutes when I'm on the PC. (That is the computer, not a police constable! :p) As long as I have them beside me I don't feel lonely. I think loneliness and boredom are different things. You can be busy and wish you weren't alone, and feel sad because of it, even while doing your chores. When you are bored you don't feel like doing anything. Whatever you suggest for yourself, you just don't feel like it, or anything. Keeping yourself busy can take your mind off of loneliness slightly, but not at the end of the day when work ceases. That is when I'm okay, I have my two dogs. Now, if was to eat them ;) because there was no other food that I could find, then, I would feel lonely!
     
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  10. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    like I say, lonliness dosent get into my vocabulary, always been that way, get bored but never lonely, in which case I find something to do.
     
  11. WildSpirit

    WildSpirit Active Member
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    For many people this is a huge problem and extremely difficult to deal with, but particularly speaking, I don't see myself having this kind of problem. :) Today, I live surrounded by many people every day (at home and at work), but I love to be alone, to travel alone... Anyway, take time to myself to enjoy myself. I think this is all as if it were a preparation for a possible loneliness. :D
     
  12. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    cant agree more WS, a lot of people are going to have problems if they cant handle being alone post catastrophe, they probably wont have the option to choose.
     
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  13. m33kuh

    m33kuh Active Member
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    Being lonely is not unusual. We all experience that at some point. How we deal with it is another thing. One should have something to cheer her/him up. I have been lonely sometimes, but I try not to for a long time. I try to do my hobbies or listen to some good songs.
     
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  14. JMS

    JMS Member
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    As I said, as long as I have my dogs beside me I won't get lonely.

    If I didn't have them then I would probably befriend some wild animal that I came across. I am used to not being in human company unless I really have to, but being completely alone is another thing altogether. I think the loneliness is something I could easily adapt to. I'm quite happy with my own thoughts. I can make myself laugh or cry. Even for loners, which I am, it may be better to seek out some kind of other human company for survival's sake.
     
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  15. Corzhens

    Corzhens Master Survivalist
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    I sometimes imagine a scenario of a survival situation (more often it is the wilderness). That when I would be alone and there may be enemies, my focus would be on the enemies. And if the scenario is a simple survival by myself, of course, I would also consider the fact that I would feel lonely. And I guess being busy looking for a good place to make my shelter, finding food and identifying food sources, seeking for water sources and other activities directly related to survival will surely divert my attention from loneliness. But at night, I couldn't think of a way to avoid loneliness unless I would be so tired as to fall asleep involuntarily.
     
  16. m33kuh

    m33kuh Active Member
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    Dogs are really the best companion (aside from human, and cats) to have if you are feeling lonely. They tend to be connected to you and it seems that they feel your sadness and loneliness so sometimes they cheer you up and maybe offer you some hugs and cuddles. ^_^
     
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  17. JMS

    JMS Member
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    It was only a couple of months ago that I was having a bad day. So much so that I was at first angry, then upset, then anxious and a lot of other emotions. My poor dogs could see that I was clearly distressed and went into another room to leave me to it. Then I thought to myself it would do me good to have that cuddle.

    I sat on the bed and beckoned them both up to me. 'C'mon' I said to them. 'Group hug!' Immediately they both jumped up and hugged me and then I felt better within minutes.

    Even birds can be your friend and make you smile at times. I used to have a budgie that flew freely around my apartment. One morning I awoke to a very strong feeling of being watched. I was being watched too as my bird was sitting on the door handle taking peeks at me while I slept! So really, it is possible to befriend any animal and then the loneliness dissipates.
     
  18. Neiltarquin

    Neiltarquin Member
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    For me, the best way to deal loneliness is to make your self busy. That will surely keep you occupied and take your mind away of your current situation. Gardening and camp improvement for me is the best way to stay busy. There's this one guy in Youtube that that i always check when he has new videos. Primitive Technology is the name of his channel. If things comes to worst and i will be alone, most probably I'll imitate his videos.
     
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  19. BethSztruhar

    BethSztruhar Member
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    I never had a problem dealing with loneliness. I feel free and relaxed if I'm alone, this is my life. I'm a loner and this never bothered me. Of course I like to be with my family and friends, but I need my private place every day.
     
  20. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    how true.
     
  21. kgord

    kgord Active Member
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    I prefer being with people but I don't usually get too lonely. I have my pets and my electronics to keep me company so it doesn't get too overwhelming for me. It is nice to be along every once in awhile and I have a roommate who virtually never leaves. I am always happy when he does! It is just nice to get some peace and quiet.
     
  22. jeager

    jeager Master Survivalist
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    I'm bi-polar so I'm never alone.:D:D:D
    When I'm alone we are fine.:)
     
  23. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    I'm happiest when i'm on my own.
     
  24. airfightermax

    airfightermax Member
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    This is a great read. This is kinda how I deal with loneliness too. I started with cleaning our house from top to bottom with insane attention to detail. This action removed/interrupted the rumination in my head over the fact that "I am going to be lonely after this".

    You should be the maker of your reality. Believe in yourself. Stop relying on outside influences to calm yourself. I stopped answering texts and instead would call the person and I would actually talk to them personally. I watched Netflix and finished several series alone. I walked to the local coffee shop and got to know the owner as I sat and simply watched my fellow human beings go about their day.

    I made my own choices. I controlled my own fate, and I managed to deal with my loneliness.
     
  25. sakakimakio

    sakakimakio New Member
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    Whatever busy you are, cheerful you were, I believed everyone has their loneliness of their times. I end up my loneliness watching movies alone, or playing games. I quite remember my friends say, whenever they found me playing games, there would rush come to my house and pick me up to downtown as they think I'm in loneliness. Actually, I just want to finish that level so bad because it pissing me off lol.
     
  26. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    Interesting LOL I am fine when alone. I don't get or feel lonely. Yet I enjoy being around people. I enjoy the different people I meet mostly. Still 90% of the people I meet. I would not care to spend time with them.
     
  27. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    I do think humans are meant to be social creatures.
     
  28. Scarlet

    Scarlet Member
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    Everyone of us needs a solitude but if you love being lonely then then there is something you need to realize. If you want to live longer according to a research done by harvard university, the secret to a long life comes when you have a good relationship to your family, friends and society. You will die young when you are a loner regardless of status in life. It was a great research that I've watch on youtube last year.
     
  29. joegirl

    joegirl Member
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    I used to be a very outgoing person and had lots of friends. But a recent life experience has taught me how to slow down and appreciate things I never noticed before. I have cut down on my social activities and at the moment, I prefer to be alone than with a crowd of people.
     
  30. lonewolf

    lonewolf Moderator Staff Member
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    no, but they have been programmed that way.
    TPTB would love everyone to live and work in one big collective so that they can control you better.
     
  31. iamawriter

    iamawriter Well-Known Member
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    Loneliness as per my definition is not to have real people around you. Having said that I could say many are lonely but not unhappy. They are glued to their cell phone, tv, radio, and computers where they have the world at their feet.
     
  32. overcast

    overcast Member
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    I think being social seems to be the only way to deal with loneliness. And you can't really fight this being alone. You have to accept the part that you are alone. And that being said, loneliness takes time to settle in the mind. I have had my share of issues with that. And I am under depression working against it. Hopefully I can recover. For me being social is the only thing that is working. Different therapy for different people I suppose.
     
  33. Deathisue

    Deathisue New Member
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    For a while the loneliness was my enemy, something that was there something that consumed me and left me devastated, but eventually one learns to deal with him to accept it because being alone is not so bad sometimes, the companionship is valuable is true, but just accepting that we can be well on our own, can helps us to keep the composure in risky situations and even in daily life.
     
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