This question may seem more complicated to answer than it actually looks... Are you the kind of person who bothers when someone lies to you? Or don't you often care about it? I mean, it's clear that the degree of lying should always be taken into consideration before you even care - or not - about a lie... But, how do you usually behave yourself when someone lies (and you know that, of course) to you?
It really depends. If its used in a story like to exaggerate the story to add volume and feeling, I'd let it go. If its my kid trying to cover up a story, id tell her not to do that anymore. If its life treathening, ill fix the main problem first and the whoop the ass of the liar.
I generally don't like liars because I am not one myself. I mean, we all tell those white little lies, but proper lies? No, I don't do that. I always prided myself on being honest and frank. We have a saying that goes ''lies has short legs'' - which means that sooner or later, your lie will be exposed and whether you like it or not, you will have to deal with the consequences. So, I don't really care if you sometimes tell white lies - for example; tell somebody how good they look even though they don't, or compliment somebodies work just to boost their confidence. Those are innocent things that have some good in them but any sort of major lie, I highly disapprove of. Especially in a relationship, there shouldn't be any lying involved.
a lie is simply telling something that you know to be untrue. I don't lie myself and I have no time for liars.
Degree of lying shouldn't be take into consideration, after all a lie is a lie no matter how small it is. It is even more painful when you realizes that someone you trusted so much has been or he/she is lying to you. Truth hurts but free the mind.
Sociopaths make up approximately 5% of the population of the developed world. One of the greatest indicators is their willingness to lie for no apparent reason. They can derive satisfaction from manipulation of others even when their behaviour is self destructive. Just remember that they're not playing by the same rules as the rest of us and you will not necessarily understand their motives for lieing and manipulation but they will harm you for the fun of it.
Well depends on the lie. While I lie sometimes to avoid unpleasant situations I find that telling the truth is always the best option. Both for the listened and for the teller as well. When you lie you have to be very coherent about how you tell your lie otherwise you'll contradict yourself and someone will pick up. It's a huge mental effort. At the end of the day be as honest as you can without possibly being too open. It will do everyone good.
When a lie degrades an essential trust between your partner/ally/group/team , etc.. its never good. I'd rather hear a dirty ugly truth than a lie any day.. You can deal with the truth fix a problem. Add a lie & now the problem multiplies.
Trafficking in lies is not something a man or woman of integrity would do. It is almost always is detrimental to one's personal and professional life. And as asked in the original post, yes, I have a big problem with people deliberately lying to me. I've ended business relationships over just that.
Yeah, it's basically this! However, how do you face it when it happens to you? Of course there are levels of types of lies... But how do you see the situation as a whole?
Yeah, buddy, i did my fair share of lying in my life and I can definitely say that telling the truth is always the best. There is, however, a difference between being honest and being open. Being honest is answering with the truth when asked and being open is telling people unnecessary details of your life. That said the truth always should prevail.
If I had to tell a lie to escape/evade/ protect my family or group I would. But I would also feel very uncomfortable being lied to in general by a trusted confidant. Lost trust is difficult to rebuild.
That's what I think. I mean, it's like a two-way street or something similar. The difference is that with lies we don't have the control.
Yeah, I think there's always a reason to lie and I can't see exactly a big problem in that, as long as the lie is used for some good cause (but this is unfortunately not what millions of people usually do ).
I see no point in lying, why say something that you KNOW to be untrue? I don't lie, if someone dosent like the truth, then tough. i'm not going to lie just to save their conscience or their blushes.
A lie is still a lie. We might think that there is a category of lie from light to severe but for me a lie is still a lie no matter how good our intention is. Some people lie to surprise someone and some lie to not hurt a person. Truth hurt sometimes but when we tell the truth it will set us free from our conscience and responsibility.
If I know someone has told me a lie big or small that is the end of my trusting that person again People who tell lies do it because they are hiding something from those to whom they tell that lie. How can anyone have anything to do with that person from then on?
Yeah, there was another thread about this very same subject. White lies are usually harmless. This past weekend I lied saying I was out of town because I didn't really feel like going out with my friends and I did not want to hurt them. But the next day I did end up going out with them and I had to watch out and not tell anything about my past day activities or else they would pick up on my lie. So if possible the truth is always the best path.
I see no point in lying and I don't believe there is anything called a "white" lie, a lie is just a lie, saying something that is not true. if anyone wants me to trust then then DONT LIE or else they will be out on their ear.
It makes the trustworthiness of the person questionable, and I would doubt his words in the future. I don't see why people lie though; most people who do always end up trying to compensate for something on their end, and are just trying to do whatever it would take to feel more superior to others. For me the solution is simple; cut them out of your life. Toxic people will drag you down and your best bet is to just ignore them and let them pester somebody else.
Yeah... White lies are pretty common, I don't see any harm in them. But you must Always consider the reasons for it. I've lied a lot of times to my friends in the same situation that you mentioned (and I'm not a bad person because of this ).
I think EXACTLY like you. But unfortunately, being sincere is considered a very big defect for many people. Well... But I don't care them anyway.
Yeah like I said honesty is one thing and openness is quite another. Answering what you're asked with the truth is honesty. Now being extremely sincere to the point of hurting other people with your comments that is unnecessary.
I don't care much about other peoples feelings, I say it like it is, if other people cant stand to hear the truth then that's their problem.
I am honest, sometimes blunt or even brutally honest but I'm not an open book. I will discuss things that I wish to discuss by choice but if you ask about something that I don't want to discuss I will first try to politely and tactfully change the subject, if you persist in asking you'll be told to mind your own business. If someone lies to me I look for the motive,if I can see no motive I assume that they're a sociopath and distance myself from them as far and as fast as I can. I've met a few over the years. The ones who get off on playing games with other people, the control freaks, liers and manipulators. They have an underdeveloped conscience and they will hurt you for the fun of it.
the only people that have lied to me in the last few years have all been trolls playing mind games online.
I agree that a white lie is still a lie. Generally I take the position I would rather tell the truth and have it hurt now rather than lie and have it hurt worse later. This is largely due to my mom. She had a policy of lie and hide things. So I learned after my 1/2 brother had killed himself. I had a 1/2 brother. When mom told use boys. I asked her why she waited until after he was dead to tell us. I decided I would be honest with my own family. I do not want to hurt them but I have felt the pain of lies many times. It hurts to learn the truth. It hurts worse to learn the truth 18 years later. It also hurts to learn someone was lying all along. I also believe that its impossible to know the impact of lies. They can make things better or worse. Be honest and don't carry the burden of wondering if the lies made things worse. If a person practices honesty. I think they are less likely to offend in the first place. Dishonesty is the act of an unreasonable mind. Honesty is the best policy.
People like you are hard to find pal. While some people might get upset to hear the truth i'd rather very much deal with someon like you. I'd rather have an honest friend who slaps me in the face than a hypocrite who pretends to be my friend and stabs me in the back instead.
Yeah, no matter how sincere you are, there must always be a balance / filter on what you are saying (but unfortunately this is not how millions of people think )
I sincerely don't take lies easy. I mean, it is fine to tell a lie in certain cases (that's when you have to) and as well, it's okay to pull a prank with lies or just do some basic stuff but when it comes to serious issues, telling the truth is the best bet regardless the consequence. In fact, I try not to tell any lie at all. Though I can't avoid it but that stuff stinks!
There are many ways to approach a situation without being dishonest. Hypothetical question, I was in a class. I told the instructor I don't lie. She asked if I believed it was wrong to lie. I said yes. So she asked me if Nazi's came to my house and asked me if I knew where any Jews were hiding. If I did know. Would I tell the truth or lie. I had to admit in that situation I would lie. I reasoned it was not for myself. I was to protect the very life of another. Showing that they would lie in certain situations. Because I said it was not for myself but for the life of another was really important. Yet I would lie in special circumstances. Having watched shows about Nazi Germany and knowing today that so many died. I would lie to protect them.
I'm super OKAY with white lies. However, they have to be used with a good purpose. I think the important thing - in this case - is to find the right balance.
It's an interesting point. I have always believed that right and wrong are merely points of view. So is lying wrong? maybe. Depends on the circumstances. In the example you gave lying would be the right thing to do. Unless of course, you were a Nazi soldier yourself. In this case, imagine your commander asked you where the jews were hiding. You'd have to tell the truth otherwise you might find yourself in a court martial for disobeying orders and jeopardizing national safety. See? It's all a matter of point of view. That is why judging people is wrong. You can never know what they went through to do the things they did.
Yeah, White lies I am okay with. As long as it was a lie done with good intentions, I don't see how it could be bad. Though there are people who say they lie was a white lie, even though it clearly wasn't. I hate those kind of people.
Hallo everyone, For me The only thing I hate about lies is that When I find out that you lie to me then the trust is destroyed Unless if you back it up with something serious like hey I lied to you because of this and that, May be that I can tolerate, Plus When someone lies to protect someone else I cansider that as a generous actions for example some people put the blames on themselves to save other people's life so in short I take Lie depending on Circomstances.
Right and wrong are a matter of perspective. I agree. Today we look back and the Nazi's are seen as being wrong in what they did. If they had won the war then likely the perspective would have changed. I look at the "white lie" as an act of immaturity. I see a spouse who cheats and lies as being immature. Its very rare that I can see that to lie would be an act of strength and maturity. I gave one situation that I believe fit. That class I was in was from a local college and was at work. All the other students were co workers. This spawned a lot of break room debate. It was clear morally where people stand. We debated hypothetical situations. From this I developed my idea that honesty is an act of maturity and strength. Except in rare situations dishonesty is an act of immaturity and weakness and poor morals or possibly mental instability. What I presented isn't a question of honesty but a question of morality. Generally it is morally wrong to lie. It takes strength to try to live by a moral standard. In SHTF situations morals will be challenged. Choices will have to be made. Weak people will falter. Practice morals from a position of strength now by being honest.
I can attest to this fact. I believe a white lie is harmless as long the intentions are good but you are right nonetheless. Telling the truth is always a sign of maturity. And usually cheating spouses come from a place of insecurity so they need to prove themselves to other people in order to feel good. It's a terrible act that unfortunately happens a lot.
There are all kinds of lies just as there are all sorts of truths. Some good, some bad and some meaningless. There are three of more kinds of lies. The simple untruth is easy to spit out but hard to remember and easy to get caught if you make a habit of doing it. Then there is the lie of omission or substitution. My Mama asked me once if I was sleeping with a particular girl. I assured her that I was not. I was 19 and when I was in the bed with a girl sleep was the LAST thing on my mind. No sleeping going on AT ALL! Then there is the turnaround lie where you tell the exact truth in such a sarcastic way that they don't believe you. There are times when the best lie is just keeping your mouth shut. If asked a question that you don't want to tell a bald faced lie in answer to you can just pretend not to hear the question and move off or just roll your eyes and ask them a stupid question. Truth can be brutal at times and I have no use for needless crul brutality in the so called name of honestly. I've been married for over 40 years and believe me there are some questions that you just don't need to throw out an honest statement. If you hurt someone with your blunt truth you have been an asshole. I never have found a question that I couldn't answer with some level of truth rather than being an ass. If a woman that is coyote ugly asks me how she looks I will tell her that her hair do looks really nice tonight or that she looks lovely. There is no reason to bluntly tell a wounded person that they are going to die. You are not god and don't know the future. Tell them that they are going to be OK. That is the truth even if they die I believe.
"Lying, the telling of beautiful untrue things, is the proper aim of Art.” -- Oscar Wilde "Truth is what's left over when you run out of lies." -- Oscar "The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple." -- Oscar "If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out." -- Mr. Wilde "A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it." -- O. Wilde "Any preoccupation with ideas of what is right and wrong in conduct shows an arrested intellectual development." -- the one who had Wilde eyes ========================================= "Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them." -- Mark Twain "The glory which is built upon a lie soon becomes a most unpleasant incumbrance. ... How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo that work again!" -- Sam Clemens "One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives." -- 12 ft. "The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception." -- Mark Twain "George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie." Mr. Twain yet again "Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all." -- Just who is this Clemens fellow? ============================= "The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth." H.L.Mencken "People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?" --H.L.Mencken "It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place." -- again, the Mencken fellow "Deep within the heart of every evangelist lies the wreck of a car salesman." -- H.L.Mencken "Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age." -- H.L.Mencken "The man who boasts that he habitually tells the truth is simply a man with no respect for it. It is not a thing to be thrown about loosely, like small change; it is something to be cherished and hoarded and disbursed only when absolutely necessary. The smallest atom of truth represents some man's bitter toil and agony; for every ponderable chunk of it there is a brave truth-seeker's grave upon some lonely ash-dump and a soul roasting in Hell." -- H.L.
When a woman asks a man if what she is wearing makes her butt look big it doesn't matter if she is as wide across as a full grown hippopotamus there is only ONE answer if you know what's good for you!!! That isn't lying that is SURVIVAL!!!
