Rewarding a child for good grades

Discussion in 'The Hangout' started by Deeishere, Jun 14, 2016.

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  1. Deeishere

    Deeishere Member
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    Do you reward your kid when they do exceptionally well in school? If so what do you reward them with? My child really worked hard this year and she is a straight A student. Her GPA is 4.0. I thought about getting a cake and ice cream, but that's very fattening.
     
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  2. remnant

    remnant Expert Member
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    The best reward is not even material since the child would be doing alot of learning with this as an end in itself. The best rewards are psychological first and material second. Recognition and advise on what the future holds if the child continues on the same trajectory are foremost. Then ask the child about his or her indulgence for you to fulfil if its realistic. This worked for us.
     
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  3. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    We used a star chart reward system posted where everyone could see it. The boys loved it.
    Keith.
     
  4. Finman0507

    Finman0507 New Member
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    I agree. The best reward you could possibly give your child is the recognition they deserve. Love the idea of the star chart reward system Keith.
     
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  5. tb65

    tb65 Active Member
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    I think it's a good idea to reward your kids for doing well in school. This will give them a since of achievement whenever they do something right. Cake and Ice cream can be fattening but not if they only eat it every now and then. As long as your children maintain a healthy diet most of the time a treat won't hurt every now and then.
     
  6. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    We used our star chart method for everything, not just school work. In this way each child has an opportunity to get a star or stars on the chart. The benefit of this method over giving material items to the child is, the star chart is always there for the whole family to see, where as an ice cream is gone in minutes.
    Keith.
     
  7. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    rewards need to escalate to retain there worth! a cake for an 9yo is cool but its an insult for a 13yo!
    I used responsabilities! as a reward.
    Good grades /behaviour gained him freedoms and events and the reverse!
    Once he earnt a trip to a theme park but his behaviour on the way there and in the carpark was so bad I turned around and returned home! not a happy chappy!
    At 10yo he wanted paintball! told him he had to behave and pass the flick test before I would take him! he behaved but failed the flick test so no go!
    I explained why to the flick test and two weeks later he wanted the test again! he passed and a week before his eleventh birthday and armed with fake ID as
    you need to be 16yo around here to do paintball we went and had a great day!
     
  8. Endure

    Endure Expert Member
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    Is an excellent idea to reward your kids for their achievements, recognition will show your kids that working towards excellence is always something worthy to accomplish. You also should be able to teach them with example, perform
    everything you do in a remarkable manner, never by being mediocre.

    Also don't forget to teach your kids that failure may happen and It's not the end of everything. But also warn them that
    failure definitely carries consequences. With consequences I don't mean punishment but things that may apply in the life
    of your children. Ex. Failing a class means a summer vacation spent in studying the subject, poor grades means difficult
    to enter a decent College, and of course not succesfully reeling in a fish and miss it means not supper tonight.
     
  9. RichE8475

    RichE8475 New Member
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    When a child does something exceptionally well, I most definitely feel they should be rewarded. Unfortunately, growing up, I was not rewarded for any of the good I had done. It seemed, as though, my parents had only ever saw the bad. This not so good behavior mainly came from my brother, however, in our minds it was the only thing focused on. As an adult with my own child, I have ensured that all of his actions are noticed. I feel that, as parents, it is our responsibility to teach, and help our children learn. Not only from their mistakes, but know what it is like to be rewarded and praised for the good behaviors. You most certainly should purchase that cake!
     
  10. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    I think there are two very important factors for parents & children to learn & abide by. 1) self-respect, you do the best you can with what you have, & you must have self-respect. You will not always get that cake Rich, in real life as an adult you may not receive that praise in any form. You must know that you have done your best & that you can't be expected to do more than that.

    2) Failure is not the end of the world, getting good grades IS NOT that important!!! Do you know how many kids commit suicide each year because their parents placed more importance on getting good grades than on their children's well being & happiness? Life is what is important, life will go on if you fail your exams. What is important is that you are happy, it does not matter if you are a garbage collector or whatever, so long as you are happy & being happy is NOT dependent on your financial status or your class status. It is dependent on your outlook on life & making the best out of whatever you have.
    Keith.
     
  11. glreese

    glreese Member
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    I think rewarding good grades is always a great idea. It's always a good thing to celebrate and reward achievement. I wouldn't worry about a cake and ice cream being too fattening. It is a special occasion and I think it would be okay to celebrate. However there are other methods of rewarding. You can try giving them money for A's, or going to an amusement park.
     
  12. djordjem87

    djordjem87 Member
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    I really have to say that I hate that attitude. I do not judge anyone but I really do not like it. My parents tried to do that and even then, I refused any kind of reward and I told them I did it because of me and because I want to know. I wasn't a straight A student but I never went to school for grades but to learn something and now I still have knowledge that most of my straight A friends do not have because they were sick and tired of it even then. It was forced and I did it for love. There is no chance that children study to get an A because they really want to. it is because they feel the pressure from all sides. I give my dog that kind of stimulation when he learns something new or is a good dog. I believe that people are way past that. I will never force my child or give them rewards like that because in the end that will create a set of mind that he or she is supposed to do things to get rewards or something like that. The point is lost and no child is immune to that. "If you get an A we will buy you that soccer ball you asked." That means a lot of pressure and work for that ball not for the sake of knowledge. It is wrong I think.
     
  13. iseeyou

    iseeyou Member
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    I don't have kids myself but i don't see nothing wrong in rewarding your child for his/her accomplishments. I think it will motivate them to do better in school. It's important to acknowledge their good work instead of brushing it off like it's nothing.
     
  14. GrecianShamrock

    GrecianShamrock New Member
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    I agree with my people above. I think it should be the recognition not an actual award. Just knowing your approval means more than anything you could give. And teaches a lesson that it shouldn't be material things but the support and love you give. And maybe let them pick out what to eat the next night for dinner
     
  15. ZoeZoundBarrier

    ZoeZoundBarrier Member
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    I think that the reward should be something that can symbolize to them what they will receive for their good deeds when they are out in the real world. In the real world, doing well on the job will lead to certain promotions and raises, but we never know when these things will come because we are not in control of them. If you know what it is that your child really loves right now more than anything, then plan to get them that somewhere down the line so long as they can keep up the great performance.
    In my opinion this will help your child to maintain their grades but also prevents them from being too spoiled. They are aware that they have to keep up their good grades but they do not know when their reward is coming so they are focused on working hard. In the mean time you can do just as most of the others have said and build up that child's self worth so that they know that regardless of the material aspect of the reward system, doing well just feels good psychologically.
     
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  16. Deeishere

    Deeishere Member
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    I love this idea. I want to be able to get her something that she loves to show how I appreciate her hard work. All of us who work hard want to be recognize. Yet I don't want her to be spoiled or feel she is entitled. I mean it is really a big thing for her to be 4.0. I know she worked really hard. So I do plan to see what she really wants and treat her.
     
  17. Moroccanbeauty2266

    Moroccanbeauty2266 Active Member
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    I have three kids and I would go for celebrating it with a yummy cake and a trip to a fun park.
    We do not mind if the cake makes you fat :) because we do not eat cake every day only for special occasions.
    Children definitely need to also have success experiences and be rewarded for them just like us adults.
     
  18. Karen Martin

    Karen Martin New Member
      8/23

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    Yes, I do reward my kids when they do good in school, because if you as a parent don't give them recognition they will get recognition in the streets! salvation starts at home and by your rewarding your child for good behavior and good grades then that motivates them to do better and to try harder, because they are curious what they will get rewarded with cash or a shopping spree or even a movie date or a visit to their favorite restaurant!
     
  19. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    I fail to see the relevance of this thread in a survival context.
     
  20. My3Sons_NJ

    My3Sons_NJ New Member
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    Just as with most everything, there is a usually grain of truth in most endeavors that can be used to relate to a survival context. If one is to survive in difficult conditions and be able to withstand hardships, it is necessary that the person possess a keen mind, discipline, self-control and self-motivation. Obtaining a 4.0, even in today's era of grade inflation, is no easy feat and speaks to the last three of the four qualities that one needs in a survival setting. There is a difference between 'book smarts' and 'survival smarts', of course, but it does show that, on some level, the person does have at least the possibility of making the transition between the two.
     
  21. crimsonghost747

    crimsonghost747 New Member
      8/23

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    Recognition is of course the best. But yeah throw in some materialistic stuff too... kids love that. Maybe a day trip to the amusement park? A small vacation somewhere? Maybe you were planning on these all along but you could just say "since you've done so well in school I thought we should go to the amusement park for a day!"
     
  22. filmjunkie08

    filmjunkie08 Active Member
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    I did at one point as an attempt to motivate my son who hated school. It was short lived and did little to motivate him long term.
     
  23. DecMikashimota

    DecMikashimota New Member
      8/23

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    Rewarding your kid is never a terrible thing, yet we must be cautious with how we are affecting the brains of our children. We presently live in a society where our youngsters are inclined to narcissism. I figure in view of the more discouraged eras before now that resulted in depressed teens, we have attempted to have the inverse result however it is still bringing about mental issues.
     
  24. Vinaya

    Vinaya Expert Member
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    I don't have kids yet, however, I will surely reward my kids when they get good grades. When I was a child, my parents always rewarded me with goodies when ever I got good grades. Some times they would promise to by things that I want if I got good grades. The possibility of getting rewards for good grades always encouraged me to excell well in the class.
     
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