Share Your Funny Survival Stories!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humor' started by m33kuh, Jul 9, 2017.

Share Your Funny Survival Stories! 5 5 1votes
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  1. m33kuh

    m33kuh Active Member
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    This thread is exclusive for, as the title says, funny things that have happened to you or your friend or anyone you know while they are their survival mode.

    Now I know that this is not a good topic to start with, since survival should not be considered as a joke.
    But we all know how to do our things when craps hit the fan. And it won't hurt to have a little laugh once in a while.

    Cheers!
     
  2. kgord

    kgord Active Member
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    I started sliding off the side of a mountain well really a hill in the winter time in the snow. Fortunately, My wheel stopped when the snow got deep enough. The worst thing that happened was that I was stuck in the snow. This was before the days of cellphones so I had to walk to a nearby farm. I asked for a phone to call the AAA, but they said they would pull me out..and that they did!
     
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  3. Clara1993

    Clara1993 Active Member
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    I have a friend of mine Whenever she feels scared or laugh a lot she pees on herself!! Even when someone just scare her intentionally she just can't hold her Urines So I always Pity her And always like hey you're a grown up can you please Control your urines? Or do you need a nappy?? Lol
    And that makes me wonder what would happen if she sees a Lion in front of her!!
     
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  4. sakakimakio

    sakakimakio New Member
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    I have some that I remembered for quite some time, it was when in my teenagers days. We were cleaning our backyard because of the long and thick weeds and its been a while as all our family busy with themselves. My father was busy burning all the gathered weeds that happen close to our kitchen (fyi, most kitchens in Asia were at the back of the house). Suddenly, our neighbour from the back of our house, an old lady, yelling fire, fire, fire! We were quite amused and thought, of course, there was fire, my father burning the weed but still in control. We were laughing at her and said it was fine. Afterwards, she said not that fire! But in the kitchen! It seems my mother forgot to turn off the fire stove after reheating some food. I and my late brother rush off to the kitchen and pour some water on the blazing fire, but it was a bad idea it turns out as the fire getting bigger! My dad who came pretty late holding a wet towel and throw it to the fire. Somehow, it works and the fire was put out an instant. From that, I learn that you cannot throw water to the flaming fire instead of using a wet towel or fire extinguisher if there were one. We apologised and thanked the old lady for her quick alarming us or our house would be burnt down that day. :oops:
     
  5. Old Geezer

    Old Geezer Legendary Survivalist
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    My stories ain't exactly funny. Sorry. I'm still thinking, but getting depressed ... whiskey time!
     
  6. Maria_C

    Maria_C New Member
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    I once fell from a guava tree. I grew up with my brothers. So we went to a garden and were playing on a guava tree, children can be in a dangerous situation you know. So I missed and fell, the height was not much though and down below were ridges freshly made for planting, though not yet planted. The ridges served as cushion, and I enjoyed the fall. Stupid me kept repeating the fall to have that nice soft sand feeling.
     
  7. m33kuh

    m33kuh Active Member
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    Hahaha! This is a famous story and has happened a lot of times to some of us.

    I remember a story similar to this one. I was doing a short distance biking on our local neighborhood. And I was so tired even if it was just a short one, then I wanted to rest but I can't since I am in a hurry, but yeah I was so freakin' tired. My legs were already cramping. Then a dog suddenly jumped right at my back and began chasing me while barking so loud. I was so scared that I hit the pedal to the metal and I was like super sonic and the dog couldn't chase up to me. And the last thing I knew, I was already at the street where our house is. I guess I was lucky? But I wouldn't wish for it to happen again. x.x
     
  8. joegirl

    joegirl Member
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    Hahaha! Some of the comments had me cracking up :D. I almost drowned when I was learning how to swim. I learnt in my late teens and I was so terrified of the deep end that when I was asked to let go of the side bars, I panicked and immediately went down. It was so bad..
     
  9. Tina Thompson

    Tina Thompson New Member
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  10. Tina Thompson

    Tina Thompson New Member
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    When I was a little girl, we were poor, and we had to burn wood for heat. We weren't stocked up and it was coming a cold spell. My dad went out in the front yard to cut a huge limb off of a tree, I don't know if he was drinking and I didn't know it or what was going on in his head, because he typically had it together. The next thing we know that big limb was on the ground and so was he. He was sitting on the limb he cut. He was lucky he didn't cut his head off cause the chainsaw was right beside him and still running.
     
  11. PriscillaKing

    PriscillaKing Expert Member
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    [QUOTE="Or do you need a nappy?? Lol
    And that makes me wonder what would happen if she sees a Lion in front of her!![/QUOTE]

    Quite a few adults do! It's not something we publicize, but it's why a lot of women go on buying Kotex after age 50, why some men pad their pants too, and why "Depends" is such a profitable product in every U.S. drugstore and supermarket. ("Depends" is a trademark for adult-size diaper pants.) Hormone changes make it more common after age 50 but it can happen at any age.

    In case of SHTF...well, one thing that helps some people who have this problem is to reduce caffeine intake and increase water intake. Caffeine can irritate the bladder and cause loss of control. More water actually gives less caffeine more of a stimulant effect. In case of SHTF caffeine would probably be hard to find, so incontinence might become less common, fast.

    If I had the problem, and lack of caffeine didn't cure it, I think I'd wear only skirts and stay close to a supply of washing-off water. Ways to use up waste paper would not be a problem for many days after SHTF.
     
  12. PriscillaKing

    PriscillaKing Expert Member
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    Well...we used to gather "survival foods," which some neighbors thought was hilarious. We gathered medicinal herbs too.

    A medicinal herb that grows well in Virginia is called boneset--Eupatorium perfoliatum. It's safe to eat but incredibly bitter. My brother and I used to try to trick people into chewing it. The funny part is that once you brace yourself mentally for a flavor that defines bitterness, it's not all that bad--it's only a shock to people expecting it to taste like mint or watercress.

    We also ate morel mushrooms, at least four different species of Morchella. These also are safe to eat, and they don't taste bad, but they do look nasty--the fresher they are, the more they look as if they were decomposing.

    So one summer we had a lot of baby chickens to feed, the neighborhood had a lot of nuisance insects to get rid of, and my parents had things to discuss with children out of the house, so my sister and I walked up and down the road collecting beetles in bottles for the chickens. A neighbor passed by and saw me pop a half-dozen Japanese beetles off a rosebush (safe for chickens, because nobody sprayed poison). "What will that family try eating next! Tell me, do youall eat Japanese beetles baked, or fried, or boiled?"

    Maybe it was the way he said it...I still chortle.
     
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