Spousal Needs

Discussion in 'The Hangout' started by The Innkeeper, Jul 12, 2019.

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  1. The Innkeeper

    The Innkeeper Master Survivalist

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    Many of us have spouses/significant others. How do they fit into your plans? My wife has higher social needs than I do. She is a softer touch and more generous and compassionate than I am. She is the one who would take in the strays and want to feed everyone if TTSHTF. That sometimes leads to a lot of juggling. How do you balance those needs?
    TMT Tactical and Morgan101 like this.
  2. Sourdough

    Sourdough "eleutheromaniac"

    Blog Posts:
    The question need not be limited to only two committed life partners.

    The question is equally valid for any "Known" agreed size group, be that 2 or 22 or 222.

    It is a simple math question, but first everyone needs to fully come to grip with, when the food is gone, the process of death by starvation starts. Photos of humans literally starving to death, could help communicate how ugly that process is.

    Once that point is clear..........just ask when do you want to start the process of death by starvation in four months or in two weeks, or in four days.
  3. The Innkeeper

    The Innkeeper Master Survivalist

    Blog Posts:
    That is all true, but I was thinking more in terms of how do you balance things like social needs, differing priorities on prepping needs, differing emphasis on family etc.

    The starvation issue is a tough one. I think my wife and I would both rather starve than see the other starve. Only time will tell, but I think for the two of us is both eat and if need be save two bullets. Of course all those things cannot truly be known until you hav3 to make the decision. For those sample, I am ex military but never saw combat. I’ve seen a lot of death and dying, some by brutal means. I believe I could pull the trigger on another if it came to it, but I wont know for sure til then
    TMT Tactical likes this.
  4. Morgan101

    Morgan101 Master Survivalist

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    My wife has always been O.K. with all of the gear I have purchased. She is O.K. with most of the food storage, and extra provisions put aside. She has been O.K. with the extra supplies we have put aside to barter. We all have BOB's. She understands the concept that we might have to leave, and she is O.K. with that. She is even on board with all of the firearms and ammunition. I would say we are probably 95% in agreement with everything we have done.

    She would be the one to take in all of the strays, especially if they were children. I really don't know if push came to shove if she could ever draw the line and say NO. We have never discussed it, but I am quite certain we would be taking in some family members that I don't have much use for, but they are her family. They would not be turned away.

    For this reason I have put additional things aside knowing that we need to be planning for more than our immediate family. There is additional food, clothing, water, water purification systems, blankets, really just about everything. It has not been a financial hardship, nor do we have any problems with space or storage.

    Admittedly, my wife is a hoarder, and this has turned out to be a blessing and a curse. One side of the argument is that several rooms in our house, the basement, and the garage are absolute $%^t holes. Jimmy Hoffa could be buried there and no one would find him. The other side is that I have enough inventory to stock a Super Wal-Mart. I could supply several families with old clothes, shoes, blankets, bedding. We have everything 10 families would need. When you haven't thrown anything away in 40 + years it tends to add up. I tend to look at it as barter material, and not just junk, which is what it really is. But it could be useful if the situation arose.

    I hope this helps. Maybe you could give some specific situations where you think you might differ, and it could become a problem.
  5. Sonofliberty

    Sonofliberty Master Survivalist

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    I am divorced, and the kids start college in a few weeks. They are like their mother when it comes to prepping. So, I am on my own.
    TMT Tactical and The Innkeeper like this.
  6. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer

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    My wife is a LOT meaner than me!!! She is my executive officer and has my back. The only time that is a disadvantage is when she decides that I am being too nice and goes after someone with me in the MIDDLE! I am probably the most liberal and gentle person in my circle of friends in a lot of ways. Scary isn't it???
  7. TMT Tactical

    TMT Tactical The Great Lizard ! Staff Member

    Blog Posts:
    Family, Country and then God is how I have it ranked. Actually God is a big boy or Girl (depends on being P.C.) and does not need my help. So it is /Family and Country. I will do what is needed for family but I won't turn a blind eye to family member with problems. I will do what I can for others, as long as it does not risk my family. I will not open up my stores to feed neighbors that did not prep. I will not loan out my firearms to neighbors that failed to learn about, train with and own their own firearms. So how am I actually going to help my neighbors? I will teach them to trap food. I will show them how to make fishing hooks and find bait. I will teach them to make fire when the matches run out. Bottom line, I will share knowledge but they will have to apply those skills.

    As for the wife. She is a true Christian married to an agnostic. She would want to share and care for those that did not prepare. Her side of the family are all liberals and will be goners. I doubt they would be able to find their way to us when TSHTF. Children would be her weak point. I will be in charge of any meet and greet with strangers. I could and would turn a child away but I sure would hate to have to do it. I might have to do a hidden recon later and find out the child's true situation. Even hard heart-ed SOB'S and Reptile do care a bit.

    When there are potential conflict points, then the couple or group need to determine the course of action, before the situation arrives. Who will do what and how it will be done, needs to be worked out ahead of time. During a crisis is not the time to discover somebody is taking in hungry mouths and your food supply is almost gone.
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019
  8. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member

    Blog Posts:
    Ah, it seems I am allowed to post again!!! I was cut off at the knee caps again earlier on!!!???

    Back to the thread:
    Fortunately my wife & I are both on the same page. Things may arise that will need discussion, but both of us are able to see the other's point of view. If this were not the case, then I guess there would be a breakdown in our relationship, because frankly, in a shtf situation, survival comes first. If you can't protect yourself, then nothing else matters.
  9. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member

    Blog Posts:
    if a prepper has say a non prepper for a spouse or someone who wants to feed every waif and stray and they do not, then they have a problem.
    thankfully wife and I think the same.
  10. Alaskajohn

    Alaskajohn Master Survivalist

    Blog Posts:
    My wife is a little more hard core than me, but we see pretty much eye to eye on almost all things. She won’t want to help anyone except our neighbor who is a few decades ahead of us in prepping. My wife has a certain medical condition so she won’t last too long if the world turns to total crap. This is probably when I’ll completely disappear into the woods if I haven’t done so already.
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