Things Better Unsaid...silent Communication

If you are going to be a part of a group one of the tools that you will need to develop in a silent sign language that everyone is in line with. There are times when you just don't want to shout your instructions to others in your group. Over the years I have actually learned several of these specialty languages. If you are working with a crane or cherry picker you have a very specific set of signals that you use to make sure that you and the operator are on the same page. The military has all sorts of hand signals for comunication between members of a team.

Especially if you have kids a sign language is a great thing to have. Kids like being a part of something sort of secret. When I was a kid my Dad took something from cub scouts that we used forever. Two fingers held up and spread like making the hippi peace sign meant be quiet and listen. The fingers represented a rabbits ears and he needed to be especially aware. This was a different from the finger to the lips that just meant “be quiet”.

Whatever you decide on you need to be consistent and everyone in your group needs to use the same set of signals. A friend and I that occasionally worked together doing security had a number code. A 36 for example meant that the person we were dealing with was probably going to fight. We needed to separate so he could only go after one of us. When he did the person that he turned his back to took him down and out. All the attacked person had to do was protect themselves and hold the attackers attention for a few seconds.

I always preferred working my own code rather than use a common code like the 10 code for example. Back then everyone understood the 10 code from using CB radios. The police and most security groups have codes. There is a good reason. It allows you to pass important information between people in a specific group that won't be clearly understood by anyone else.

For many years my wife and I used a modified version of the sign language used by the deaf. It was great for coordinating things when we were in a group and wanted to check with each other about things that we didn't want to necessarily say out loud. Around the kids we spoke pig latin and later found that it was useful at flea markets. When Hispanics started talking in Spanish we would switch to Pig Latin. We are VERY fluent in Pig Latin LOL.

I have worked in a lot of very noisy places and one of the common problems was trying to communicate with new people. Each place had their own vocabulary and to some extent old timers probably also learned to read lips I think.

People that you share a lot of experiences with will over time develop a lot of unspoken signals. If you expect to ever need a better way to communicate with a group of people you need to set it up and use it before it is life and death. You can't just depend on it happening and everyone just automatically being on the same page. Make the signals or codes, write them down and be contestant in their use.

 

I definitely agree with a silent language, and I do not mean fingering letters. I taught my grandson a couple of years ago, the basic ones he needs to know: need to go to bathroom, hungry, thirsty, and such, BUT the most important one is shush, don't move, don't make a sound. He says he doesn't like that one, and I promised him I would never use it, unless it is a life and death situation. And he understands how important it is. I am raising him full time and I do not sugar coat anything that is and will happen. This is a parents or guardians responsibility. They deserve to know the truth and reality ahead of time. Waiting could spell disaster. Try explaining to a child to be quite , don't move, and don't make a sound...if you have looters, and gangs approaching your house.

 

With kids you need to have several things set up ahead of time and reinforce them rigidly. A word or gesture that mean total silence. Most kids if you tell them to be quiet they start babbling "Why do I have to be quiet? What wrong?" or any other of a million things that could get you killed under certain circumstances. I used the cub scout sign of two fingers up and then placed across my mouth. The two finger represent a rabbits ears and how they stand when he hears something that might be a predator then across the mouth is SILENCE. I didn't use this often but if I did and the mouth ran the butt BLAZED. We also had a password and anyone that showed up somewhere to pick up my kid unexpectedly had to know it or she wasn't going to go with them.

kids are capable of a lot more than people now days understand or expect. There was a time not long ago when 12 was about an adult. Lots of women married and lots of young men went out into the world to work. Men went to war at 16; my Dad did. just because we ALLOW kids to stay kids longer now doesn't mean that in emergencies they can't step up and handle things remarkable well. You just have to expect it from them and then demand it of them in troubled times.

 

Consider verbal codes. If I’m working with a partner, I have a code where if I call them a name other than their own name, it means, “Heads up, something is happening, danger, or I’m about ready to take action, so back me up!”

I use this code with family members who I classify as non-combatants and it means, “Danger, bug out when you can, save yourself, typically on my movement.” So if I take action they know to capitalize on that window of opportunity and get distance.

This simple code has value on phone conversations, letters or texts.

 

Also consider the simple code of tapping the alphabet. For instane using your knuckles to tap on someone’s leg, or on a floor or wall. Tap=A.
Tap-Tap-Tap=C and so on.