What if Your Family Doesn't Want To Bug Out?

Discussion in 'General Q&A' started by John Snort, Jun 23, 2016.

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  1. John Snort

    John Snort Well-Known Member
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    You might have everything planned, know the fastest way to get to your survival location where most of your supplies are but there's one problem. You family is too scared to leave because they think it's safer.

    What should one do? Leave their family or stay and hope that s/he can convince them to leave before all escape routes are sealed?
     
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  2. Moroccanbeauty2266

    Moroccanbeauty2266 Active Member
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    I would try to convince my family to come with me to the survival location.
    One of my main arguments would be that most of our supplies to survive are somewhere else and if we were to stay we would not be able to make it.
    I would have to list all the advantages of the survival location. After trying that they should be convinced if not then it would be quite tough to go out there alone and risk something happening to my family. I am quite a overprotective person when it comes to my family so I would do everything so they feel safe no matter hwere we are.
     
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  3. My3Sons_NJ

    My3Sons_NJ New Member
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    In the case, I'd have to 'bite the bullet' and stay with my family if I could not ultimately convince them about the wisdom of traveling to the safe location. Leaving by myself and not knowing their fate would weigh so heavily on me that it would impede my ability to make the decisions necessary to survive on my own so at least, by remaining with them, they'd have a better (if small) chance to survive.
     
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  4. My3Sons_NJ

    My3Sons_NJ New Member
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    Of course, the choice to stay and make the best of a bad situation would only apply to my immediate family. If I were 'holed up' with my more distant cousins, aunts and uncles and they chose to stay rather than join me in traveling to a safer location, well, I would wish them well before I left.
     
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  5. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    sort that problem out now before any event happens so everyone knows what to do when an emergency happens.
     
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  6. Endure

    Endure Expert Member
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    I don't know. Seems pretty unlikely that my family would do something so reckless like staying home when danger grows rampant. We have been through wild fire before, nothing so harsh but dangerous nonetheless, We leave home
    immediately and wait until it ends, the smoke is suffocating. We tried to call the local firefighters but sometimes they are an useless bunch, we tried sometimes to extinguish the wildfire with buckets of water if We are able to handle it.
     
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  7. GrecianShamrock

    GrecianShamrock New Member
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    After reading this I tried to sit with my family and talk with them. My mother and sisters laughed at me and my husband was all for leaving his family and going to find something else to survive. He made it seem like because he was a man he would gather supplies and bring it back. But I think we would all go if we had to
     
  8. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    Take the kids & leave. Chances are the rest of the family would then leave to accompany the kids. Hard call I know, but I would not stay & die. No kids? Then again I would use force & take my wife with me.
    Keith.
     
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  9. ProNine

    ProNine Member
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    Well, I would try to convince to come with me and would list all the advantages of leaving and disadvantages of staying. If they're willing to come then all is great otherwise, then I will just leave. As much as it will hurt, I have tried my best to get them to come and with a short time frame, I'd rather someone make it out alone then everyone dying together. Nonetheless, I feel that if you discuss it beforehand and showing your family that you actually have a plan before anything happens is better than just bringing it out of the blue with SHTF.
     
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  10. tb65

    tb65 Active Member
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    I would give them a choice either come with me to safety or stay here and take your chances. If I had children they have no other choice but to come with me, but adult family members have to make there own choice you can't force them. I would make every one aware of the situation the best way that I can and hopefully they will be convinced to follow me to where safety is. If your a parent you have to think about the safety of your children first.
     
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  11. shcoo

    shcoo New Member
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    I've been disowned by my entire blood family so I suppose this isn't an issue for me. If I had a partner though, or if I was with my local group of friends when the event happened, I would stay with them and try my best to help them. I would tell them my plans but understand I can't force them. It may take them a while to calm down and consider the options with a rational perspective.
     
  12. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    this is why I prefer lone wolf, only self to worry about.
     
  13. nytegeek

    nytegeek New Member
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    I don't think I would have this problem. I think my family would be willing to go and liten to me because they are scared rather than want to stay out of fear. We communicate well and are usually on the same page about important stuff.
     
  14. MrsVanWinkle

    MrsVanWinkle New Member
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    Hi! I'm new here. This is my first post. :)

    I would definitely try to convince them to come with me. Perhaps one way of helping them to feel more secure about leaving would be by telling them that we can always come back to our house in the future if the disaster isn't as bad as expected or there are things we can later salvage from the wreckage, so to speak. I think that the idea of leaving forever without coming back might scare some people, but if there is the hope that maybe one day they could come back, that might help. Still, I guess some might think that was giving them false hope.

    I lived overseas for years, and if someone had told me that I could never come back to the US when I left, that would have probably killed me. Knowing I would eventually come back kept me alive. The same could be true for some family members in this kind of situation.
     
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  15. PriscillaKing

    PriscillaKing Expert Member
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    In most disaster situations so far, most people have been able to go home, rebuild home, etc., but who knows what may happen in the future?

    I guess I've learned to live with the idea that some things remain unknown. I don't know exactly how the world was created and/or evolved, whether it'll be hotter or colder fifty years from now, whether I'll live another fifty years or another day (even in the absence of any of the disasters we try to prepare for). In a way being prepared for different possibilities is just another way to live one day at a time.
     
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  16. SouthernMama

    SouthernMama Active Member
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    I would try to convince all of my family to come with me. If however there were some members that refused to leave, then I'd go without them.
    I would take the members that wanted to go and hope for the best for all of my family.
    We can't save everyone, but we can save some!
     
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  17. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    Best of luck with that you will need it!
    Even those that want to leave wont usually go unless all go! especially if someone is pushing!
    The consensus is usually the whole family stays together and stays put! but will change there minds after it is too late to go!

    Keep any survival stuff to yourself if you meet resistance when talking to family!
    Prep for yourself and and any/all confirmed go'ers but pack a few basics for more!
    Do not ask, force, demand, plead etc for any to go! just inform them that you are going and maybe drop a basic bag at there feet a few minutes before you are ready to leave
    leaving the decision to come with you or be left behind to them, be silent though do not try to convince them with words etc just finish packing and leave when ready!
    No sooking crying or emotional goodbyes just leave but going slow so any converts can catch up!
     
  18. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    Another good post! Good one.
    Keith.
     
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  19. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    I left my family, & I have never regretted it. Sure I missed certain things & people, but I am better off where I am. You can't live for other people who do not want to be a part of your life. It is their choice not to leave. You have a life of your own to live. I left home & moved to Australia. I married a gorgeous red headed girl. We have three boys & 5 Grandchildren & a lovely home in a forest which we own. No, I DO NOT regret leaving home, not for a minute.
    Keith.
     
  20. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    But you are not a lone wolf, you have a partner.
    Keith.
     
  21. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    Not everyone is in the same situation, some want to leave home but not leave the country. I left home & country. I planned to leave with a friend, he changed his mind at the last minute & decided to stay because his parents were ill. Now his marriage is a wreck, he lives in a council flat with no job & very little money. I left England with less than $100.00. Now I have everything I need. Difficult to advise someone that I don't know, I do not know your complete situation or where you live. I don't know what living conditions are like where you are. I don't know if you just want to leave home or if you want to settle in another country.

    I had good reasons for wanting to leave home. My first choice was America, but they did not want me unless & had qualifications & a scientific background. Australia welcomed me. I had done no research on Australia so had no real idea what was waiting for me. I found work, & I worked hard & long. I saved my money. Things could have gone differently, that is why it is hard to advise. You simply have to make up your mind & follow it through, follow your dream & be prepared to do whatever work is offered you providing it is legal.
    Keith.
     
  22. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    If I were in your position omar, I would ask one of my uncles overseas if they could find me work & sponsor my travel to that country. Take whatever work is offered & go from there.
    Keith.
     
  23. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    Mate I have no idea. I hate sports & know absolutely nothing about football.
    Keith.
     
  24. Mark.c

    Mark.c New Member
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    Leaving family behind would never be an option nor question for me, even if it means my life. As such, I began including my wife in all BO plans, scenarios, preparations, etc. I believe in being proactive instead of reactive. As a result, she is prepared and offers very valuable input, opinions and insight to our BO plans. I would suggest this proactive approach to anyone with a family or partner. It makes sense to include them and their opinions. That way when the time comes, everyone knows their role, what to do, why it is necessary and their is little to no delay in getting to safety.
     
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  25. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    Totally agree Mark, but you can see the problem some people are having with family. A partner that does not believe in being prepared, & if the time came to leave they won't leave. This to me appears as though it may stem from a lack of communication & understanding over years of living together, something you & I have not had a problem with.
    Regards, Keith.
     
  26. Mark.c

    Mark.c New Member
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    I understand and agree Keith... But, they used to do it on the A-Team to BA... lol... If it comes down to it, somehow, knock the partner out and when they too, everyone will be in a safer place. Yes I know, easier said than done. However, if we are preparing, then it means preparation on all levels. This is not just limited to bags and locations but also involves the people with whom we share our lives. Maybe this is a necessary point for a new post on here. My wife was not into it at first and used to make to joke with me about prepping. However, being a bit of a prankster, I managed to get her involved by rigging our car while we were in the mountains on a camping trip... after that, there was no looking back. She became exceptionally appreciative for preparation in case of emergency. It might have been wicked of me but once me made it out, I told her the truth and her anger subsided, she saw the sense to it and wanted to be involved. Like I say... Adapt and overcome.
     
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  27. iamawriter

    iamawriter Well-Known Member
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    The moment I decide the scene will be totally different. I being the decision maker or taker there is no doubt they will develop cold feet and follow me if I decide to leave. Just imagine a scene where I am leaving and you think others will just me watch go? That will never happen. They will follow me.
     
  28. Mark.c

    Mark.c New Member
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    They may follow or may get cold feet from watching you leave but isn't survival of a family a teamwork oriented thing? Wouldn't you prefer to have the members of your team working together willingly instead of out of fear? I understand what you said but not sure if in the mode of survival, it is the best basis for teamwork and function.
     
  29. Kanagirl

    Kanagirl New Member
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    Leaving your family should never be an option. If you have everything planned out and they know what has to be done beforehand, hopefully they'll be ready. Otherwise, you stick with them and try to work out a plan B...or c...or d
     
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  30. iamawriter

    iamawriter Well-Known Member
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    Teamwork does not work always. There is always someone in the group that leads it. And in this case I am leading and I know for a fact that they will not be able to live without me and so when I start to leave they will definitely follow me.
     
  31. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    normally in an emergency the family does what the head of the household says, either that and it dosent work and you all end up dead.
    SHTF is no time for debate, its time for action.
     
  32. PriscillaKing

    PriscillaKing Expert Member
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    Maybe everyone can agree on a plan that works. Maybe not. Some things are unknowable.

    At least I'd want to try.
     
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  33. Kanagirl

    Kanagirl New Member
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    Can you imagine how many "leaders" are going to freak out when SHTF? Great plan or not, people can only assume they won't panic. Situations like this, great leaders aren't picked ahead of time. They are made when it's actually time for someone to have to lead. Everyone needs to know the plan. And it should never be left to, "well, when I leave they'll be such scared little rabbits they'll follow." Because it may be the "leader" who's freaking out and wanting to hide under the bed
     
  34. PriscillaKing

    PriscillaKing Expert Member
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    Sometimes in a crisis leadership may even need to be shared.

    In a blog post awaiting moderation here I reminisced about the night our neighbors' house burned down. People turned to one person (my father) as the big strong tough one who knew what to do, and tried to keep another person (some sort of cousin) on the sidelines as smaller, older, and physically handicapped by an injury. At a decisive moment, the fact that the other relative had this injury was what made him the undisputed leader--for that moment.
     
  35. DeeFree

    DeeFree New Member
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    So no one wants to leave to either get the supplies and bring them back or get TO the supplies and set up camp. If I am certain that the trip can be made I would go alone although I would beg for at least one other person to go with me. But even if I couldn't get one person to go I would still go. Even if they wouldn't let me take the children I would still go. Why? Someone has to act with some courage and try to save them. Even if I couldn't save them and they got wiped out, I would feel so good about the effort I made in trying to get help for my poor, frightened family.
     
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  36. Kanagirl

    Kanagirl New Member
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    Going and coming back isn't just leaving them to save your own skin. That is a circumstance when leaving your family is the right thing to do. But just saying, "I'm leaving with or without you" and assuming they'll follow because they were told to is an entirely different situation.
     
  37. Zyphir

    Zyphir Member
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    I would try to talk them into coming by explaining as best I can the whys and the hows. If that doesn't work I guess it would have to just turn into me just kidnapping them. Like I can't leave them there so if I have to make them come by force then so be it.
     
  38. PriscillaKing

    PriscillaKing Expert Member
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    I'm picturing Anne Frank's family in the Secret Annexe if any of those three rebellious teenagers had started to scream, "I'm not staying here! You can't make me! I'd RATHER be in a prison camp where I could get OUT again!" And they just keep screaming and pounding on the walls...and The Diary of a Young Girl becomes a much thinner book.

    It's possible to make preparedness/independence a lifestyle choice children respect and re-create. I know because my parents did! Nevertheless, there's a reason why the apostolic Christians, prepared for martyrdom, affirmed "If the unbelieving depart, let them depart" as an inspired word from God.
     
  39. Kanagirl

    Kanagirl New Member
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    That's a very realistic answer. I like it. I've considered that approach with my son that lives with my ex. My ex has no plan, at all. And he isn't going to want me to take our son. I'm not going to just leave him there to suffer the consequences of my ex's naivete.
     
  40. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    you cant force people to do what they don't want to do, you either leave them to it or you stay and face what is to come, good or bad.
     
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