A Few Ugly Things You Might Need To Consider About Kids And People

Discussion in 'Mental Preparedness' started by TexDanm, Jul 15, 2017.

A Few Ugly Things You Might Need To Consider About Kids And People 5 5 1votes
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  1. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    This is something that is going to be hard for a lot of people to deal with and discuss but it is going to be a major issue if things ever just goes all to pieces. Children, what to do with them, how to help them survive and adapt to a new reality and what you may have to do with people that won't make their kids grow up and be a contributing part of a group rather than a determent.

    We currently live in a very sweet and gentle time in history that allows children to have a massively extended childhood. Great efforts are made to not damage their precious little egos and it is considered unfair to expect much from them. We have “time outs” and discuss everything with them and in general a lot of them are little monsters. In our kinder gentler world that is OK. They can grow up later.

    What are you going to do with these super entitled kids when life and death means doing what you are told the first time and IMMEDIATELY. What do you do when you are part of a group that is trying to hide and someones kid won't shut up. “WHY do I have to be quiet.” “I'm not comfortable.” “I'm bored.” You try to shut them up so they begin to wail and throw a fit to get their way.

    The same thing when they won't work and do the now typical thing of making it more trouble to get them to do something than it is worth. They won't share and throw a fit every time they don't like the way things are going.

    I went camping with a friend that had a kid like this and seriously in a survival situation that kid would get you killed. They always said that the best thing to do when he threw a fit was to ignore him since it was basically just a play for attention. He turned what could have been a really nice long weekend into a living HELL! He ate and drank everything we had brought for a three day camping trip in one night!!! I still don't know how he did it! Two two liter Dr. Peppers were gone in a couple of hours then he threw a fit because I told him to drink water.

    When the times get bad you are going to have to make some seriously ugly decisions. If you are a part of a group that is going to make it the kids are going to have to work and mind. Basically anyone, no matter what their age will have to either contribute or leave or “have and accident.”

    I didn't have such problems with my kid. I was and am old school and by today's standard abused them. Kids need to kind if for no other reason than to keep them safe. About the worst whipping my daughter ever got was for standing in the middle of the street and refusing to come to me and get out of the street. “WHY?” was just the wrong response. After that if I said come here NOW she was running to me.

    In the old days kids had to be a lot different from kids now for several reasons. Firstly there were a lot more of them. My Great /Grandmother had 17 kids. Without birth control kids just sort of happen you know. When you only have one or two they can have a lot more slack that if you have a bunch.

    Another reason kids had to be different was that parents didn't have the time to coax a kid into doing everything. Daddy was probably working in the fields and Mama kept a huge kitchen garden, hauled wood and cooked washed, made and mended clothes … it was a busy time and there were virtually no labor saving devices.

    Kids were taught to mind from birth and they worked along side their parents. They grew up a lot younger than kids do now. Understand, I'm not talking about something from the 1800s here. My Father graduated from his high-school when he was 15. America was at war and he was to young to enlist so he went to work in an aircraft factory a long way from home until he turned 16 and could enlist in the Navy.

    It was not uncommon for girls to marry as young as 13. and were fully ready and trained to be house wives at ages that are now considered children. People expected a lot out of kids and got it. Kids are fully capable of doing all sort of very adult things at an amazingly young age. The problem we will have to deal with is getting children that have never had to do much of anything to grow up and do it in a hurry. It is going to be hard on everyone!!

    If you have kids now and are serious about survival and think that it is a real possibility that TEOTWAWKI could happen then you need to start now helping your kids to adjust to a world that might have different rules. Kids need to understand that under certain circumstances they need to do as they are told without question or hesitation. I did this with my daughter by having special code words that meant seriously do it or else RIGHT NOW. You NEVER use these words for trivial or regular disobedience. This was not a game and you made a contract basically with your child that this was only for very serious stuff that might be life threatening or at least the possibility of danger if they didn't do it immediately.

    My daughter understood by the time that she was 6 or 7 that some rules were a lot different and when I called an emergency she would hop. Don't lie to your kids about bad things that might happen. You don't want them to fall into shock when things suddenly change.

    From the time she was old enough to grasp reality we dealt with serious manners with family counsels. She had every right to tell us where she stood on things and as long as everyone acted with respect we were all free to say how we felt. We negotiated contracts that defined her bed time, boundaries and what good grades got her and consequently what bad grades would incur. I don't work for free and didn't expect her to either so I paid for good grades and charged for bad ones. I paid her for work and charged her for laziness. LOL she graduated with a 4.0 and went straight to college. Kids are capable of so much more than we currently expect from them. My daughter isn't perfect nor was she a perfect kid BUT she was a good kid that didn't get into much trouble and is a very successful adult.

    Before you let anyone into your group you need to make sure that everyone is on the same page about kids and where their place will be in your group. If you let a pack of little monsters in you may not live to regret it. You can't waste a lot of time and energy fighting with kids or their parents to get them to act right, obey orders, and work with the group without having to be forced. It is way easier to turn someone away than it will be to throw them out later...or dispose of the bodies. I know that sounds awful but it can easily end up with that when everyone's survival depends on EVERYONE cooperating and working.

    This is all a very unpleasant thing to think about but that is what lies at the heart of a real survival philosophy. Think ahead and plan ahead so that when something happens you are acting while others are running in circles trying to decide what to do. This is something that can tear apart families and friends and turn a hopeful group into an angry mob that might as well already be dead. There will be a short period of VERY intense danger as food, water and everything that you will need to survive vanishes and those without will be looking for and taking it from those that do have.

    Charity and regular morals will have to be looked at a lot differently! Don't kill your kids with kindness to others and don't hesitate doing things that have to be done based on old moral beliefs. In a truly bad situation the adults need to eat first. If a child has to do without that is just how it has to be. If the adults get weak all will die. The best way to take care of your kids is to take care of yourself. This sort of thing is contrary to how people in easy times look at things but is the way it is in all primitive societies. The investment in an adult is huge in time, learning and food while a child is just starting and sadly easily replaced.

    This is all pretty awful but people that live in places that are tough or times that are tough have had to deal with this sort of thing. If you will look into the structure of nearly all primitive and even not so primitive cultures that have run upon hard times you will find that they had to make adjustments and not just accept that life is not priceless, it is often pretty cheap and the value of a person is directly related to what they do and add to their society. The old and the young are the ones that always suffer the most...that is just the way it is in the real world and the animal world.

    Think about it now. To some extent the decision that you will need to make is do you want to survive and what price will you pay to continue and what price is beyond your ability to pay. I don't have all the answers but sometimes questions are where you have to start in your search for answers.

    Have you considered any of this? What do you think?
     
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  2. GS AutoTech

    GS AutoTech Expert Member
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    There are some hard truths stated in your passage here.
     
  3. OursIsTheFury

    OursIsTheFury Expert Member
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    Meh, that's why I don't like kids. They can be noisy and unruly. And even if you raise your kid correctly, that won't mean that everyone else would raise their own kids properly. Your kid is gonna be stuck with whatever spoiled and misbehaved environment that everyone else has created. I'd rather not have kids because I would probably spend my time worrying whether the kid would be alright in this world we have at the moment.
     
  4. overcast

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    I think it's not an easy thing to be taking kids and even the old people in mountains and other remote places. It gets harder due to the lack of the medicine. And in some cases you have to understand that people also need some attention. So that's something we all have to deal with. I think we have to understand that kids can often change the perspective we look at raising them. Because we can't really raise them in same order the way we were raised.
     
  5. Tumbleweed

    Tumbleweed Expert Member
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    Even though the world has changed a lot since we were children (especially we older folks), I think that it is still possible to raise your children so that they wil react and respond immediately when there is an emergency, or other life-threatening situation.
    While it is definitely true that being a strict parent is pretty much frowned upon nowdays, and kids seem to grow up believing that they are entitled to whatever they want; that does not have to be the way they grow up, as long as the parents are willing to invest the time to properly teach them.
    I can remember learning from my mom to instantly obey and not ask questions because it might put my life in danger if I did that, and this was how I also raised my kids.
    I taught them how to drive, fish, swim, and all of the things that kids need to learn, we had "fire drills", so they all knew how to get out of the house and where to go if the house caught on fire (and with a wood stove that is always a possibility, you know), and they all helped with the chores according to their abilities.
    Learning responsibility and accountability is something that all kids need, and will especially need in any kind of disaster situation.
     
  6. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    I always played the "What if" game with my Daughter. She would tell me what she would do in certain situations and then I would offer her other options but not in a way that inferred hers were wrong unless they really were way off base. This game teaches a kid the value of FORETHOUGHT.

    In the area of forethought, If you have kids one thing that you will need to do is let them be kids as much as you can. That means that anytime you are in a fairly secure location you need to help them play and have some fun. Kids, adults too, need a certain of normalcy in their life. In the military whenever a group is not on an active war zone they bivouac. That means that they set up camp and start living in a regular manner with meals at set times and everything made as normal as possible so they can unwind safely. If you stay stressed for too long you WILL have some level of post traumatic stress disorder! In an end of the world situation you will need to work hard to combat this problem because it isn't going to go away or settle down quickly.

    For kids this is deadly. When a kid grows up too fast or in a violent stressful home they skip over a lot of things that later in life isn't very pretty. They will lack empathy and to often tend to deal with things violently. Look at any Gheto and ask yourself if this is what you want your kids to be like. If not you need to make a real effort to help them learn the more gentle life skills.
     
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  7. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    I can't see the beginning of this thread, but I can say that we never had any problems with our boys, & a heavy hand was never used to teach them. They were all three very responsible at an early age & followed out instructions. It has to be that way when you are raised in the bush, too many dangers out there waiting for a child that won't do as they are told!
    Keith.
     
  8. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    I totally agree. I lived in the country while raising my daughter and it was like the world from 50 years ago. I think that a lot of the problems I'm talking about come in part from kids that are basically raised by a daycare center, day Care and video games. This is all to often the way it is in urban areas. You don't really want your kids running the streets and don;t know who they are hanging around with. In the rural area I lived I knew everyone for a mile or more in every direction and she would have had to go 5 to 7 miles to get on a paved road. The kids all ran those dirt roads together and were doing the sort of things that kids did forever. They were in the woods or playing with the livestock or riding... They had little time for much meanness and all the parents worked together to keep them fed, washed and safe. During the summer they often slept where ever they were when they ran out of energy. They were all good kids and to the best of my knowledge none of them ever got into trouble and made good hard working adults.

    We as parents spent a lot of time with the kids. We fished together and swam together and had cook outs several times a week. They had fusses and they learned how to settle them themselves most of the time. I think that a lot of kids these days are over supervised. Schools don't have recess any more everything is organized. The same is at the day cares. I honestly don't remember the last time I saw a bunch of kids playing baseball other than adult organized and run activities. To some extent kids used to do a lot of the child raising themselves as older kids looked out for and sort of civilized younger kids so they fit in to the group. The gang of kids that I ran with when I was little had over 30 kids in it that ran from 6 0r 7 to 16. At 16 boys got their first cars and went girl crazy and sort of drifted out of the gang.

    The world today is nothing like that. There are no Mamas at home and kids just being kids. Neighborhoods don't have packs of kids riding their bikes everywhere and playing sports unsupervised in any available empty lot. Something has been lost and will never return unless something massive happens that changes the way we live. I honestly don't know why a lot of people even bother to have kids. They don't seem to care about them very much and don't spend hardly any time with them. We used to have a registered home and kept kids for people. I was amazed and sickened by how many people would call and ask two questions. How much do you charge and what are your hours. Then based on the answer they would literally drop their child out in your driveway with a check in their hand the next morning!! WTF are they thinking??

    Survival is going to be a lot harder for these families because on top of having to deal with the messed up world that is causing the problem they will be having to get to actually know each other and form a family bond and relationship for the very first time. If you are leading a group, tribe or clan you will need to be VERY careful with these people or they will shred the unity of your group. They have never had any real unity in their "family" so the concept as we understand it will be alien to them!
     
  9. lonewolf

    lonewolf Societal Collapse Survivalist. Staff Member
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    this is another reason I wont have anything to do with groups or strangers(strangers =danger).
    someone like that is going to get you killed.....fast post SHTF, try keeping a kid quiet and it'll just make things worse, people these days seem to be frightened of the quiet, that's why they make so much noise with their radios and stuff, and why do kids have to scream all the time???
     
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  10. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    When I was a little kid the old saying was that, "Children should be seen but not heard!" We were a lot quieter than kids these days. When we got out and away from adults we were louder but kids don't ever get away from adults now. Now you are supposed to "discuss" things with your child and explain to them why they need to do what you told them to do. Then because you don't wish to damage their little egos let them do whatever it is that they wanted to do.

    My Dad had a saying that covered this sort of situation. He told me often that if he said JUMP I had better be in the air before I asked him how high? Generally he would ask me to do things but it was understood that when he TOLD you to do something you had better start moving or it wasn't going to end well for you.

    Kids are a real treasure and I wish we had been allowed to have 2 or 3 instead of just one but they will also drive you crazy and break your heart. To some extent there are several milestones that a person crosses on their path to maturity. Having kids changes you. You are never the same after you shoulder and accept that level of responsibility. Another milestone is burying your parents. As long as they live treasure them. The last bit of your child will to some extent go into the grave with them. I am the patriarch of my family now. We are not a long lived clan. As long as my Dad was alive he was always there, even as his mind slipped away and I could go talk to him when I was troubles. My Mama was the same way. Now I am the one that is supposed to have the answers. I try to do as well as my parents did for me and offer to my Grandbaby the total love and acceptance my PawPaw offered me. I'm not responcible for raising her I just need to make her feel special.

    LOL, My name is Dan and in the family I'm Danny. The kids really got me when they named my Grandbaby Danni!! Grandkids are GREAT!! All fun and no responsibility!! I spoil her rotten and we eat cake and ice cream for breakfast and lunch if the parents and my wife aren't around!!!
     
  11. Ystranc

    Ystranc Master Survivalist
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    Truthfully, I think you could include a lot of adults in the selfish, spoiled, lazy, petulant group as well as their children. I've just had a group staying with me doing a beekeeping course and I'm totally sick of their company.
     
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  12. lonewolf

    lonewolf Societal Collapse Survivalist. Staff Member
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    it is my belief that any "group" in the UK will be family and family only.
    trusting strangers post shtf could be fatal.
     
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  13. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    My FRIENDS are my family and even as obnoxious as I am I generally treat a strange as a potential friend. I think in part that is cultural for me. The way I was raised I will invite you in feed you diner and then if you are an a$$ I will kick your bu++ throw you out or cut your throat equally fast. Texans are pretty open folks we talk to strangers. Stop and help people that we don't know but then again probably fight physically more often than most. I was 50 before I "out grew" that sort of foolishness.

    My circle of friends are part of the reason I feel pretty sure that I will survive any initial violence. Navy Seal, Special Forces Army, One competitive shooter in three gun combat, two ladies in the health care field. They will come to me to get out of the city. We are all armed to the teeth and open hearted survivalists.

    Civilization revolves around groups of people. I have no desire to spend the rest of my life hiding and v alone. As soon as the storm passes I will begin helping people get organized and working as a group again. I'm way too old to want to play Rambo/Mountain Man Hermit for long! I live in the woods just outside of a tiny country town for a very specific reason. Little country towns are different and the people that chose to live there are different. We don't have cops and don't need them. We do have a REAL old time country store that sells local produce and butchers. They even make their own hams, bacon and sausage. When I bugged out and left the big citys over 30 years ago I had some very specific aims and have never regretted it.

    Being where I am there are so many benefits that nobody other than an old time survivalist would even think about. I am surrounded by woods full of game. I am near a lake and a river. There are hundreds of cattle within 5 miles of me and very protective owners that will appreciate neighbors to help them defend their animal. There are a LOT of horses here and in order to not go all the way back to starvation farming those horses will be needed. My neighbors all have goats and chickens. I have a smoker that will handle 150 lbs of meat at a time. We all have gardens... This place/area is a survival paradise of opportunities. Our children will be safe in a very closely watched area and hopefully not have to be dragged through the nightmare that a lot of places will become.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2017
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  14. TENNGRIZZ

    TENNGRIZZ Expert Member
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    When in comes to undisciplined children IMHO the beatings would continue until morale improved.
     
  15. lonewolf

    lonewolf Societal Collapse Survivalist. Staff Member
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    I don't trust people now( a life times experience of the human condition) and that will go tenfold after TSHTF. people in the 21st century are not nice and most are out for what they can get and care little about others, that's in the good times, post shtf they will be even worse, trust them at your peril and don't turn your back on them.
    I am far safer being a lone wolf than sleeping amongst a group of strangers and getting my throat cut in the middle of the night and all my stuff stolen.
     
  16. uvisavargr

    uvisavargr New Member
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    @ TexDanm ... you bring up a LOT of very valid points. Since I am over 60, I was raised back when there were no laws that said you could not spank kids, even schools were allowed to ... did it make me a better person when I got spanked for doing something wrong ... no ... for the most part it never even really encouraged me to be more interested in following "The Rules" of society ... yeah I got into trouble frequently, though usually not serious trouble.

    As for the comments by you and others about how in this modern world things are a lot "gentler" for kids ... yeah ... that is a very definite fact ... it was not that many years ago even here in America when it was considered fairly normal for a girl to drop out of school by age 15 or 16 to get married and be a wife/mother, and in more rural parts of the country the girls would be even younger.

    For some reason, here in America (and Europe from what I have seen when I lived there) ... too many people place way too much faith in what self-proclaimed "experts" say ... shrinks who tell us that OMG there is just no way a mere CHILD of 16 or 17 could ever possibly know enough or have enough maturity to make an intelligent "adult" decision ... and then we reinforce that idiotic belief by making sure that our children are not taught much of anything useful in school.
    And then as a society we are surprised that the day they become ADULTS, the day they turn 18 ... and we expect them to act like adults ... they don't.
    For thousands of years a child was allowed to be a kid up until about the age of 6 or 7 ... then the usual routine for boys was to become an apprentice in a trade ... and girls were expected to start learning what they needed to know to be a wife/mother ... so that by the time a boy was 12 or 13, he knew enough to be able to work as a tradesman, and girls of 12-13 were now ready to be wives/mothers. My own mother was raised sort of like that ... by the time she was getting to be 12-13, she was helping her mother to raise the two youngest siblings in the family ... so by the time my mother was in her mid-teens she already knew most of what it took to be a wife and mother, much of what she did not learn from her mother, she learned in school, in things like home-ec classes.

    Am I advocating going back to that historical life style, maybe just a little bit of it ... but more importantly ... I think what more of society must realize is that you can not tell someone for the first 17 years 364 days of their life that they are "just a kid" ... and then the day then turn 18 expect them to magically gain all the knowledge and wisdom they need to be a fully functioning adult ... it doesn't happen.

    And can anyone tell me why at the age of 16 we give kids the legal permission to kill or maim themselves, and others ... but we tell them they are too young to get married ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
    ... that legal permission I am referring to is called a Driver's License
    ... WAY more teenage kids get killed in car accidents, than do by getting married.


    I want to collect my thoughts about an idea ... and after I do I am going to make a post, two of them maybe ... and one of them will touch on an idea of how to handle kids, especially younger kids, in a survivalist type of environment.
     
  17. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    One of the things that you touched on about how kids were trained to play almost adult roles at very young ages was one of the things that made the world in the west what it WAS. Especially in America we had big families and when a woman has a lot of kids they have to be self-sufficient at a pretty young age. One of my Great Grandmothers had 17 kids. My Grandmother was the eldest and you can bet that by the time she was 14 she knew everything there was to know about babies, cooking, gardening and raising kids.

    Families back then were woven together because the older kids played a big part in the raising and caring for the younger ones. In small families you can have a different sort of dynamic where each child is sort of raised in their own little bubble. The dynamic in the bigger families was by necessity a lot more WE than ME.

    Self-discipline is what makes a person able to be successful. It is what drives you out of bed and off to work even when you don't want to do it. It allows you to save money and limit your spending. It is what got you through school and what allows you to work with other people without causing problems. Sometimes you just HAVE to keep your mouth shut.

    Self-discipline starts with discipline. A kid wants a cookie. Mama says no. The kid wants the cookie so grabs one. Mama spanks the kid so that they understand that there are repercussions associated with their actions. The next day there are more cookies. Again you want them, Mama says no and if you were like me you probably grabbed one anyway. Mama lights my butt up. Day three MORE cookies. I always want a cookie Mama says no because she knows if I eat a bunch of cookies I won't want to eat supper. I look at the cookies and REALLLLY want one but I remember her and that darn flyswatter. After serious consideration I decide to wait until later and see if she will let me have one then. That decision is the beginning of self-discipline.

    The way things seem to go now is kid wants cookie Mama says no kid grabs cookie Mama discusses this with him. The next day kid wants cookie Mama says no kid tries to grab one Mama puts them out of his reach kid throws a walleyed fit Mama give the kid the darn cookie to shut him up lesson learned. If you want something if you will just be a big enough pain in the butt you will get it.

    Now you know why kids act the way they do now. Used to be it was the pain in their butts that controlled their actions now they learn that being a pain in your butt will get them anything they want.

    Can you imagine what chaos it would have been in a large family with EVERY kid acting like these little monsters we raise now!!?? The end result is that these kids stay kids. The Baby Boomers raised their kids this way and now their kids are boomerangs that just keep coming back because they are 35 or older before they are grown up enough to become self supporting.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2017
  18. uvisavargr

    uvisavargr New Member
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    @ TexDanm ... yeah, you are right about that ... if those little monsters that are being raised now were part of a much bigger family ... yeah, it would be pure chaos ... and depending on where the family was living, and what the living conditions were in that area ... it could very well be potentially lethal chaos for the family.

    Sadly ... one of the biggest reason why kids nowadays are behavioral monsters is because of those self-proclaimed "experts" ... the shrinks that have spent so many years telling us that "OMG you should never ever tell little johnny (or suzie) NO, or it could emotionally scar them for life, they might end up turning into serial killers or suicidal maniacs, or at the very least drug addicts or alcoholics"
    ... so what does our modern society have, because way too many people (and really stupid government leaders) have believed what those "experts" have been saying ... we are on our second generation of kids (and adults who are still kids mentally) that will kill each other over a pair of $200 brand name tennis shoes, and a second generation of young people who think that the highest/greatest thing they can do in life is to live in a homeless shelter, or on the streets, so that they can spend their government nut-ball check on drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol ... and they get that nut-ball check from the government because they learned how to pretend to be sooooooooo emotionally scarred from the poor way they were raised by their parent(s) that they are not capable of functioning in society ... some of them have never worked a single day of their lives, and never will.
    And still, even seeing all this, those self-professed" experts still cling to their BS like it is some sort of religious revelation that was given to them by GOD himself. o_O

    I understand what you are saying about self-discipline ... I'm not sure if it is something that can be "learned" ... or if it is inherent in certain types of people ... I say that because I have seen a LOT of different people during my life ... and some of them just never seem to learn any sort of self-discipline (or common sense) ...I have some thoughts on that, but since this is the wrong type of forum to go into a discussion about "those" topics, I will keep them to myself.
     
  19. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    The thing is that if TEOTWAWKI happens this is something that a lot of us will have to deal with. There won't be anymore instant gratification and kids that won't mind without endless discussion and begging will destroy any group. Kids that use the technique of making getting them to do ANYTHING more trouble that it is worth will cause massive problems in a group when others try to get the parents to parent and they just don't know how. I watch these people all the time. They act as if the kids are their equals and peers. Later on these kids can't hold down a job because they don't know when to shut up and just do what they are told. A parents job is to prepare their kids to be successful adults NOT their friends. If you offer them a fantasy of personal entitlement and privilege then you better be ready and financially capable to support them forever. That sort of stupidity just won't be a possibility in a harsher world.

    My Dad always told me that if he HAD to chose between my love and my respect he would take respect every time. Love without respect from a child is a recipe for disaster. I though he was harsh...but he was right.
     
  20. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    I am 54yo and have a 5yo and a 7 yo. I think a lot about their survival. I teach them constantly. We always have something to learn. Both for survival and for non survival situations.

    My son has issues with his inside voice. He is loud a lot. Yet at times he can turn it down and whisper. I use a balanced approach with discipline.

    We have gotten past the "Why?" response. It started about 6 months ago. Took about 4 months to finally get it shut down.

    Your points are well noted. I have thought along these lines about my family as well. IF! I say If the shtf. I largely plan to be quiet and hide as much as possible. No loud noises to draw attention. Draw attention and get attention. So my family being quiet and blacked out all night is important.

    My son at 7 yo is not afraid of the dark. He will be on my heels when ever possible. He's in TKD. At home he practices with a stick. If its time to fight. Use extreme aggression. He knows a grown man can easy over power him. So he must be aggressive before he can be over powered. Yet if you ask him if he wants to fight. He will tell you he would rather hide and be quiet.

    He and I do chores together. He helped me paint and put spackling on the walls in a bedroom. My daughter helped paint. I taught them how to feather the spackling. They are not good at it! But we tried.

    When we go camping he is side by side with me at all times. I teach him all the time. Explain why.

    I have brought him to work with me several times. Not while on the clock but at diffderent times. We look at the boilers and chillers and pumps and mechanical equipment. He already knows how to use screw drivers, wrenches, cordless drill.
     
  21. uvisavargr

    uvisavargr New Member
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    @TexDanm ... I understand what you are saying ... yeah a LOT of parents do make those mistakes ... and in an SHTF scenario kids that are like that are going to be a severe problem for their parents, to the point where the actions of the kids could very well result in the kids and their parents getting killed

    reading some of the comments by you and a others in here ... it makes me think that there is a valid reason why tigers eat their young :rolleyes:

    as for a TEOTWAWKI scenario ... most of the ideas/projections I have seen regarding that idea, is that there wont be enough survivors left for much of anyone to have to worry about much of anything ... any sort of stupidity by anyone, adult or child, will probably result in a fairly quick death for the stupid individual and anyone physically close to them


    @ koolhandlinc ... I read what you wrote, and those are very good guidelines for most parents to follow ... some kids do respond to those type of "lessons" when they are taught in an even-handed way

    a "balanced" approach to discipline for children is a good way to raise ... unfortunately some kids don't respond to that
     
  22. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    Thanks uvisavargr. I do read and understand what everyone has said here. Things to constantly reflect on as the daily lessons present themselves. My daughter is pretty easy. She acts like she's scared but at times shows strength. My son has a ball problem. Testosterone level through the roof I think. He is pretty smart. I play to these. Sometimes physical challenges and sometimes intellectual challenges.

    If trying to survive with my kids means I get killed. Then so be it. I will do all I can if it comes to that to help them to be the ones who rebuild. At the same time working to teach them to survive in the world we live in now.
     
  23. watcherchris

    watcherchris Legendary Survivalist
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    I just stumbled across this post and thought I would contribute.

    Years ago I dated a woman with four children. I saw quickly that something was very wrong with how she was raising the children. She was working herself into an early grave while the children were playing and not helping at all.

    She was working herself into an early grave and teaching the kids by default to be "High Maintenance."

    In a SHTF or TEOTWAWKI ...these kinds of "High Maintenance " children are going to be a severe liability if not an absolute danger....a fatal consequence.

    Not just the children here but the Parents too who are themselves not more than overgrown children.

    In a SHTF or TEOTWAWKI situation ...a television and or movie education will not suffice...drama queens will not make it and become a danger to anyone and everyone else.

    I told this woman that she was crippling these children in what she was doing thinking she was being a good mother.

    I told her.....no....both a good mother and good father prepare their children to survive in every way they can...prepare them to leave the nest and travel out on their own..with real life skills and knowledge.

    A good mother and father do not just get the kids ready for tonight's television or movie.....put them in front of the Television or movie..plant them, water them and clean their bottoms on occasion.

    Start them by teaching them to make their own beds....change their sheets...wash the clothes...take out the trash...clean house....cook and also help with getting groceries....for everyone...not just what they like and want.

    Teach them to be responsible...not optional with someone else providing the options gratis.

    And you the parent direct them to the most profitable road to accomplish these tasks,learn and grow. I told her that every day she finishes 8+ hours of work on her job...she is going to come home and work another 8 hours while the children play and she does the maintenance for them...that she had it entirely backwards. She needed to tighten up and get these kids focused on their surviving..not just getting ready for more television.

    You are there to teach them to " Stand" for the day when you will not be able to stand with and for them.
    In this ...you also teach them to "Stand " for your grandchildren....their own children. Your future generations.

    This ....is a definition of the word we call "Love." A much deeper and more profound definition that what the world misuses today as love.

    If you love your children...you teach them to survive..not just to be comfortable while someone else takes the risks out of life for them. You teach them to be self sufficient ..not high maintenance.


    When you run into these high maintenance people in your group you will have to make a decision....to work with them at your peril and possibly y our families peril...or leave them right where they are at...and go it alone. Both Adults and Children. This is not just about Children per se..but adults too..many of whom are no more than overgrown children.


    My .02,

    Watcherchris.

    Not an Ishmaelite.
     
  24. lonewolf

    lonewolf Societal Collapse Survivalist. Staff Member
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    I have never had kids, never wanted kids, but there seems to be a lot of people out there - both kids and adults- who expect to be given stuff for nothing, well this isn't going to happen post collapse, they are going to have to work and work hard if they expect to eat, I expect many will fall by the wayside, not able to cope, not knowing how to cope because they have never had to.
     
  25. Jim B

    Jim B Member
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    I find this topic hitting real close to home. I have raised a son, who is now 27 from my first wife. I am currently attempting to raise two more, a daughter(17) & another son(13) from my second wife. I was raised old school and neither of my former wives had this type of upbringing. Needless to say the cultural differences created conflicts, which ultimately were the root of the end of my second marriage. So I have had first hand experience in watching how children can be pampered to the point that it becomes expected without being earned.
    Unfortunately, my daughter who I love very much would be one of the kids who would never make it in a post shtf scenario. Her mother and today's so called experts have made sure of that.
    My first son is retired army and would have no problem functioning well within a group as I and a little help from Uncle Sam (US Armed Forces) had much influence.
    The trick that I am faced with, with my youngest is teaching him the morals that I believe all kids need to be a successful contributor to society. Doing this against today's idiots (my ex included) without losing him from a court decision is walking a very fine line.
    I believe that there are probably many parents out there that are faced with similar situations. Conflicts between life partners can and will make it difficult to raise today's young people without confusing them. But, I still choose to go against the grain on this one. It's like this, "if your not with me, than your against me", I am going to do what I believe is best for my kids. No matter what.
     
  26. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    Without kids. The world will end. If tSHTF everybody and everything would change. Kids who can't survive today without a video or a game, would quickly change. Kids are adaptable, very adaptable. They can take way more than most believe. In the beginning they might struggle but they would get up to speed.
     
    Keith H. likes this.
  27. Keith H.

    Keith H. Moderator Staff Member
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    I agree, but I think there will be a lot of spoiled kids who will just be a pain in the rear. They will want their laptop no matter what, & will disobey their parents at every turn.
    I brought my boys up the way I was raised, but with a little more fatherly contact than I had! They had chores, & they worked in the garden. They learnt how to shoot a flintlock at an early age & how to use a knife & a tomahawk. They learnt how to fell trees & how to split them with wedges for rails. Hopefully when their sons are old enough they will be raised the same way. My granddaughters are the eldest & unfortunately treated differently to date. But they are smart, & I teach them what I can. I think they will hold their own if push comes to shove.
    Keith.
     
    koolhandlinc likes this.
  28. lonewolf

    lonewolf Societal Collapse Survivalist. Staff Member
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    most people, and I mean adults as well as children, brought up in the computer age will not be able to cope without the internet and their mobile phone, for many its an addiction and a serious one at that , its just a fact of modern life, if someone depends on such things 24/7/365 and knows no other way of living expecting them to change to a lifestyle of which they know nothing is just not going to happen.
    and wishing it could be otherwise is not going to change anything.
     
    koolhandlinc likes this.
  29. TENNGRIZZ

    TENNGRIZZ Expert Member
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    Jim B my son from my first marriage who I raised and is now 31 and very successful told me the other day Turkey Hunting, that he now believes beyond the shadow of a doubt if he had been raised by his Bio mother he would not be the man he is today and thanked me for being such a A-hole and that he loved me and is proud I am his Dad. Stick to your Guns brother.
     
    Jim B likes this.
  30. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    I agree. My kids are into the electronics but also other things as well. They take TKD and love it. My son will ask if we can go work in the building. I always have a project or 5 going. I always make him do something to learn. So far its all to simple for him. He was asking about making fire about a week ago. I am hoping this summer we can camp out and practice a few fire making techniques I have learned on the forum! I can start on easy enough with a magnifying glass but I still have not mastered the art of using a bow drill or other friction techniques. I will by the end of summer.
     
  31. watcherchris

    watcherchris Legendary Survivalist
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    Wow!!! Within our various groups and in SHTF or TEOTWAWKI...we are going to have some very difficult decisions to make....hard decisions.

    I had a hint of this through Hurricane Isabelle about High Maintenance Adults as well as children.

    There are going to be some hard hard decisions to make...and I mean soul searching hard.


    Here is some information by which to consider from a historical standpoint.....about what happened in history yet is seldom known by people.....and not desired to be known as history repeats itself again and again via people who consider themselves "Enlightened " and knowing more than others about how to run your lives and your group. More about your rights, freedoms, and liberties than do you??


    In the Soviet Union....around 1919 it was decreed that the family ...had ceased to be a necessity for both the members and the state.

    That this Enlightened Stupidity did not free women...it freed the man...or male.'

    You will find this on page 375 through page 377 of Amory de Reincourt's book.."Sex and Power in History."

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1588037.Sex_And_Power_In_History



    Here the chapter of what happened in Soviet Russia.

    What happened was a rabid and runaway problem in Russia called Juvenile Delinquency.
    Amoury de Reincourt describes it as a staggering scale....of delinquent children roaming large areas of Russia like wolf packs..terrorizing their elders.

    Soviet Russia's solution was to go into these high delinquency areas and massacre these delinquents over the age of 12......"without pity."

    Now this is a history which will never be told to anyone and in particular Americans. This is the only place wherein I have read even a hint of this history.

    Now I am not here advocating this solution..but it is what happened in history.

    Now I am telling some of you that you will have some hard hard decisions to make. Particularly if you are easily swayed by someone claiming they are a "Victim."

    And "Victimization" seems to be a very popular default setting or argument/debate point by people wanting to get by without work and without risk taking...and on someone else's purse/risks.

    You are going to have to banish people from your groups. What are you going to do with people who will not leave and or try to force their way into your purse??
    For these people often cannot change their spots..and will put you and your group into Ishmaelite bondage/danger to support them and their "Victimization" politics...male and female both.

    We have an awful lot of males in this country who were raised primarily by females....and think like females.....believe like females.
    And I believe we have had at least two of them as Presidents.


    Just some food for thought. Free ...no cover charge.


    Thanks,
    Watcherchris

    Not an Ishmaelite
     
  32. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    @waterchris I can see this and understand it for real. A mother can't breast feed a baby if she doesn't have good food. If she has a baby and realizes she isn't producing milk for what ever reason. While she may keep attempting to feed the baby. The baby can starve at the nipple.

    Such is the way of nature. In the current time in history. It could be seen as a time of plenty or abundance. Look about at all the fat people. For people to grow fat and to grow really old. It takes abundance.
     
  33. lonewolf

    lonewolf Societal Collapse Survivalist. Staff Member
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    that will be the problem post SHTF, without all those imports of lovely cheap food from abroad, the population numbers will rise and fall with good and bad harvests.
     
  34. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    What you are seeing and talking about has nothing to do with what equipment is in their pants. What you are seeing is a changing of a culture and what happens when a person is raised by one set of rules and then has to live under a totally different set of rules. Women and men my age were raised with some very specific and defined expectations. Girls were taught that they were not supposed to fight and that it wasn't "lady like" to do so. Boys were told that you NEVER hit a girl and that it was cowardly and shameful to do so OR allow it to b e done in their presence. Men were expected to work hard and support their wife and children and the women were supposed to work hard at home making that house into a home and raise the kids to fit into this sort of future. None of this was sexest! Women did this because they had only slight control over getting pregnant and were GOING to be pregnant and raising kids if they were married and with a man. That was just a biological FACT.

    Suddenly in less than one generation that FACT changed. Without the constant need for a woman to be raising kids they started going out and into the workforce. Believe me, at first this was NOT always a happy thing for the men. At first it was seen as shameful for a man to let his wife work. It indicated that he was not able to properly support his family and so his woman HAD to go to work.

    Well it didn't take long before the men and the women found that having two incomes allowed for a lot more money and that led to them having more and better THINGS than the couples in the more traditional marriages. In just a few years it was suddenly the norm to have both parents working and the kids were sent off to daycare warehouses to be raised. Having women working led to a lot of men feeling less connected to their marriage and women to feel a lot less dependent and trapped in marriages that were less than satisfying.

    When I was a kid divorce was not common and people just stayed together even when their marriage was often not a very good thing. Nonetheless it did offer a certain stability to the kids. Now divorce is almost the normal and people like me that have been married to the first person that they married is an oddity. The divorces were probably good for the adult people involved but the effect on the kids is devastating.

    The initial problem is that the women that had been raised in traditional families were taught a set of rules that worked find in a marriage were not any good at all for them to be independent women. If you can't depend on men to take care of you then your actions, it you wish to survive and succeed must be much less "lady like". Women raised in traditional marriages were not trained or expected to be able to raise boys and prepare them to be successful males.

    More later my Grandbaby wants me to come out and play with her. LOL...
     
  35. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    Today on the news they are talking about a van attack in Toronto Canada. So My son and I watched the news. I explained to him about being vigilant. Something as being aware and paying attention then reacting quickly can save his life. Also the lives of others. Yesterday in Tennessee a guy walked in and shot people. Another man came from the RR and began to fight. He stated he wasn't going to die without a fight.

    Talking to my son about this stuff as it happens I am hoping with help him to realize that a sharp mind and a quick response is part of survival.
     
  36. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    Continued from above...

    Until we find a new way to live and a new culture to replace the one that was based on facts that no longer exist the men in our society need to MAN UP! This means that you stop throwing bastard kids out all over the place and then saying that they are the woman's problem. If you have kids, especially boys you need to be a part of their life even if it means dealing with the dreaded EX.

    Divorce has become the American lifestyle and even when people stay together these days they warehouse their kids rather than raise them. A daycare ios a place to store your kids but if you expect them to raise and train your kids you are crazy. Your kids are your only real chance to have an effect on the future. Even the rich are mostly forgotten as soon as the grass grows over their grave. Your kids, be they good or bad, are your gift to the future. I was raised to believe that this was important and my Dad taught me to be honorable, honest and strong enough to stand up for these beliefs.

    To the best of my ability I passed these same things onto my daughter. I never taught her the old beliefs. I taught her to fight and to be a true bitch that would stand up to people. My wife called her Little BIT. the BIT stands for bitch in training. There is no place in our world now for weak women muchless weak men. In my generation these lessons had to come from the male. We were taught it by our fathers. I taught it to my daughter and she is teaching it to her daughter. My grandbaby will be a new sort of woman raised from birth in the world to be a personal success rather than just a mans help mate.

    Boys, you need to toughen up because these women won't be there to kiss your butt and boo boos. If you can't deal with them then I guess you will have to be another guy trying to find a nice lady from China or the Philippines. Myself, I married a BEAST. She is tough and spent 25 years working in prisons mostly with death row and high security inmates. When we were dating and she was 17 I saw her take her 24 year old brother down and beat the hell out of hiom. He more than deserved it and I was in LOVE! I always know who has my back. We are true partners and I like it that way. I am not the sort of man that needs a woman to constantly stroke his ego to feel good about himself. 45 years and she is still the most exciting woman that I know.

    Women are going to have to toughen up but for now men need to do what they are supposed to do for their boys or the women of the future are going to reverse the roles on them and make them their pets. You see this in the universities. The females are going and graduating while too many of the boys are partying and dropping out. In 20 years they are going to be working for the women that they are now ignoring. It is sort of like the thing between the athletes and the nerds. The captain of the football team is a big man on campus and picks on the nerds. 20 years later he is driving a truck or working at some manual labor job and the nerd is driving a BMW and making big bucks as some sort of engineer.

    Men, if you don't take the time and make the sacrifice and effort to help and teach your boys then you have no right to complain that they are wimps and weak.
     
  37. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    Mostly in agreement with TexDanm! I married a Filipino. All the American women seemed to just want a baby daddy. I don't mind loving kids but didn't want to just raise theirs. There are lots and lots of women who want a baby daddy.

    I agree that the break down of the family unit and not having good role models is an issue. Will be the down fall of us.

    Now I have 2 of my own. Both are in TKD and love it. 5 and 7 yo. They have a tougher mind set like me. Teaching morals and discipline as much as I can. My son had started to act like a wuss and then lately he has toughened up. Got a couple of 4 wheelers. He wrecked 8 times on the first trip out. Never cried. Just got up and got back on. :) I later found assembly problems that caused the steering to be problematic. He and I were working on the 4 wheeler and he looked at me all happy and said so that means it wasn't all my fault I kept crashing? I said yep. He was being hard on himself for crashing.

    Anyway, I am heavily involved in my kids lives. The propaganda from school is intense. Liberal ideas are pushed heavily today in the US. The teachers are a bunch of flakes.
     
  38. koolhandlinc

    koolhandlinc Expert Member
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    I just started having the kids do pushups with the knuckles for punishment. My son can do 30 of them now. He is all boy and is certainly not going to be a wimp!!! My daughter can do 10 now and she is the 5 yo!
     
  39. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    The problem with schools and teachers is that we don't pay for quality nor encourage it in our teachers. Mostly schools are aimed at getting the kids to show up so they can get paid. The teachers are saddled with mostly not hurting the little darlings delicate egos so they have dumbed down the curriculum in most public schools.

    They TALK about kids being to fat but then don't have recess anymore where the kids go out and run and play. Even their idea of Physical Education now is a joke. Where I live, when my daughter was in highschool, I discovered that they had stopped requiring kids to spell. They felt that it was more important that they be able to freely express themselves in their writing. They had also stopped teaching cursive writing. Basically I had to take over those parts of her education. She did well and went on to do well in college but honestly her highschool did everything they could to sabotage her education. The idiots even had a rule that A students that had not missed over one day of school didn't have to even take midterms or finals. Not learning how to "cram" for finals made her first year in college very interesting.

    The thing is that if parents want their kids to get a good education then they have to be an active part of that education. I was active both at home and at the school. I KNOW that they were so glad when she graduated and they didn't have to deal with me anymore. The truth is though that because they knew that they had my backing they pushed my daughter harder than they did others and she got more personal attention. They knew that I was going to check her homework and would tear it up if it was done in print rather than cursive and if things were misspelled I would circle them in ink so she had to redo the paper.

    Let me tell you, if I can tell that something is misspelled it is BAD. I am a spelling idiot and am thankful for spell check on my computer. I guess I was embarrassed by my bad spelling and so didn't want her to have to deal with it. Part of the problem these days is that parents just don't care and won't help their kids. They have even quit sending kids home with homework because the kids won't do it and the parents don't care much less help.
     
  40. watcherchris

    watcherchris Legendary Survivalist
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    LOL LOL LOL Texdanm,

    Your post got me to musing on what the Olde Timer taught me so many year ago.

    At the time it rather torqued my jaws..but over time he turned out to be quite correct...in the bulls eye so to speak.

    What he told me is that over a hundred years ago ....a college graduate had on the average a vocabulary of some 4000/4500 words and knew what they meant....and their spelling was very very good even before spell check.

    Today a college graduate has on the average a vocabulary of some 1000/1200 words and most of them four letter words and does not know the definitions of many of them.... and desperately need spell check. This even showing up in our newspapers and on line with many articles by people who have obviously gone to college.

    Over the years and reading books with a vintage of over 100 years olde taught me that the Olde Timer was quite correct.
    I need a dictionary to keep up with some of these olde books.

    I too am grateful for spell check.


    Thanks,
    Watcherchris
     
  41. TexDanm

    TexDanm Shadow Dancer
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    American english spelling was made needlessly complex intentionally. It used to be a sort of ID card for the rich and advantaged. Before Jefferson set up the university system spelling was generally phonic. The new correct spelling was sort of like sticking your pinky finger out while you were drinking tea. Writing is supposed to be about transferring knowledge and understanding from one person to another. In that vein Ben Franklin's Laff was just as good as Jefferson's Laugh to express HA HA!! There is no way to pronounce laugh phonically or to spell it phonetically.

    I thought at one time that Esperanto was going to address this stupidity and replace English as an international language for people but like the metric system the idiots refused to learn or endorse it.
     
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