Helping Someone Who is Scared While Keeping Your Cool

Discussion in 'Mental Preparedness' started by Aneye4theshot, Jan 21, 2016.

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  1. Aneye4theshot

    Aneye4theshot Expert Member
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    Helping individuals that are scared is the sign of a strong minded and prepared person. It's one thing to be able to tend to the needs of yourself but to display the leadership skills to help another individual during a frightening time of survival is true strength. Dramatic situations that call for survival on a moment's notice can leave individuals shaken, rattled, and stirred. Some people can lose their mental stability in an essence having a freakout. These freak outs for the most part are harmless and people will regain themselves after a short time. However, these freak outs can be dangerous for the individual as well as anybody else that they may be around. Should an individual show signs of having a spaz attack there are things you can do to help calm them down. Most of the time people just need someone to listen to them, comfort them, and get their mind off of the subject at hand.
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    Agreeing with somebody is not always the best way to handle a problem nor is debating with them. Sometimes letting them have an opinion while steering off of the subject mildly is a way to calm them down. Once the person has regained calmness the situation will have been gracefully handle by you. Choose your words wisely and you will be able to help people when they are in an unstable state of mind do to a crisis involving survival. The survival of a group will always depend on the individuals in the group. It only takes one strong individual to hold it all together. Studying and preparing yourself to be that individual may come in more handy than you think one day.
     
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  2. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    this is debateable, whilst someone in our family or immediate group may be worthy of our continued support and assistance, in a serious survival event the actions of others may determine who lives and who dies, it may be prudent, unless its a family member, to put as much distance between ourselves and such people, in these events it may not be possible to save everybody and it may not be wise to try, the consequences could prove fatal.
     
  3. Nisha Hyde

    Nisha Hyde Active Member
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    I don't know how easy it is for one to prepare for this. I think that leadership skills come out of a person when a situation arises. A natural leader will take charge, I don't really believe this is something you can prepare for. It will just happen.
     
  4. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    anybody who says they are a natural leader and I am making huge steps in the opposite direction.....and fast.
     
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  5. Para173

    Para173 Well-Known Member
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    Lonewolf, I'm like you only I would take your comment a little bit further. I'd say that there are some leaders who have been promoted, because of the Peter Principle, that I wouldn't follow down a well lit hallway on a quiet Sunday morning to leave a building. So the guy who says that he's "a natural leader" and the leader who got promoted who isn't competent are one in the same to me.
     
  6. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    I have trust issues Para- I don't trust anyone.
     
  7. Tom Williams

    Tom Williams Moderator Staff Member
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    I have signs ready for my drive close and lock gate first sign private property do not enter 2nd sign 100 yards in says YOU ARE NOW IN RANGE AND A TARGET. WE not worried about panic just fools that think they can move in on us
     
  8. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    I moved out of the city 17 years ago, luckily I married a life long country woman who didn't like "living in a city"-we lived far out in the suburbs.lol. so we moved out and now live in a rural farming area.
     
  9. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    2nd sign 100 yards in says YOU ARE NOW IN RANGE AND A TARGET. WE not worried about panic just fools

    So not obeying a sign makes it ok to murder?
    Damn makes you wonder just who the bad guys are!
     
  10. Tom Williams

    Tom Williams Moderator Staff Member
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    When shtf i will drop you in your tracks dig a hole and roll you in and sleep soundly as the next watch does the same dont care about your trouble you should of been ready
     
  11. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    Murder is murder
    Hope you don't consider yourself a Christian or even human for that matter!

    A Beast is about it
     
  12. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    in a post collapse environment it will be WROL(without rule of law), my only duty is to my family, i am not responsible for what others do, and they must accept the consequences of their actions as i must mine.
     
  13. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    "in a post collapse environment it will be WROL(without rule of law), my only duty is to my family, i am not responsible for what others do, and they must accept the consequences of their actions as i must mine."
    That is just so wrong on so many levels
     
  14. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    why?? my only duty is to my family, if someone else wants to survive post collapse they'd better start preparing NOW, it is not my job to look after them if they cant be bothered to do it for themselves.
     
  15. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    Well if you can't see why no amount of explaining will either! so I won't try o_O
     
  16. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    suit yourself.
    i am not responsible for anybody except me and mine. what other people do is their concern and their lookout.
     
  17. Tom Williams

    Tom Williams Moderator Staff Member
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    As i rollyou into a hole i wiill say ablessing over youbut im ot putting me and mine in danger from you
     
  18. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    As i rollyou into a hole i wiill say ablessing over youbut im ot putting me and mine in danger from you

    The biggest danger is "STUPID" and your texts indicate an abundance of it on this subject!

    In total ignorance you declare war on a guy walking up your driveway, who is he what is he?
    You don't know? and you won't !
    He maybe a good guy he may not!
    He may be part of a large group with heavy support
    and you just went and declared war!
    Brilliant! top of the class there!:oops:
     
  19. Tom Williams

    Tom Williams Moderator Staff Member
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    Im sorry but once the shtf the rules change its time to be cold heaartless you and your group of people are in it to survive outsiders can bring illness and danger to your door i dont care when it happens pray you dont wander in because you will not see us and we will not let you in for any reason if you think thats not right you dont understand what survival is i wish you luck and we will say a blessing over you as we put you in a hole
     
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  20. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    yes, my point exactly.
     
  21. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    Psychopaths!
     
  22. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    people with rose tinted glasses will soon perish.
     
  23. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    There are many options between two extremes, choose carefully!
     
  24. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    my choice was made a long time ago.
     
  25. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    I don't have a fixed choice
     
  26. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    as far as others are concerned I made my decision long ago and included it in my planning.
     
  27. hippyzomby

    hippyzomby New Member
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    I agree with this, if you want to join then you are going to do what I say if not then I am sorry but you are not allowed to continue on. I have seen too many vindictive acts done and I am not going to risk you coming back after me and mine.
    I know that sounds cruel but I am sorry I am not taking the risk of it.
     
  28. Arkane

    Arkane Master Survivalist
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    There will be no right way to do things and there will not be any safe options!
    There will be risk in doing and not doing
    Making judgement calls now and sticking to them will get you dead!
    Most things will need some adaption as you go along
    There are only a few things I have set in concrete
    Do not procrastinate decide and do! but look ahead for consequences!
    CHECK YOUR DEAD!
    Do not become like the monsters you are fighting, maintain your humanity!
    Do not just exist embrace life as it may be short!

    And always look ahead but do not expect to get there!
     
  29. hippyzomby

    hippyzomby New Member
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    I love that. Embrace life as it may be short!
    That is so true that is something prepareing and making sure that if you are forced to be in the end love what you have left of your life. If you have close ones in this time adore them not just love them adore them they are in this with you. Just strangers are the only ones I dont want to let it. If I have made it awhile and someone comes in thinking they are going to mess up what we have worked so hard to keep going I will not allow it.
    But thank you for reminding all of us to enjoy what life we have left even in the worse situations possible.
     
  30. Lisa Davis

    Lisa Davis Active Member
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    I volunteered during and after Hurricane Katrina. During that crisis, I saw a lot of people lose their cool and put themselves and others in danger. Unfortunately, not everyone has the mental capacity to handle these situations. While I had tons of emergency disaster management training, nothing truly prepares you for the real thing, not even experience in other disasters because every situation is truly unique.

    I will also note that one situation where a person panicking can be particularly dangerous is in water. People that can't swim or don't swim well often panic when being rescued from a potential drowning. I have helped save people from potential drownings and even though I was a certified lifeguard, it seems like they don't want to submit and let you save them, they just want to pull you under with them.
     
  31. Dante848

    Dante848 New Member
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    Fear can be a good motivator, if you have to help somebody who is scared, keeping your cool is of utmost importance, if they see you panicking while they already are, it will just get worse. Calming them down by taking charge, give them a plan of action, explain why it will work and why you're going to get out of the situation. I feel people like being told everything is going to be okay, but since they're probably not a kid, you say that with your actions rather than your words.
     
  32. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    as far as I am concerned, other people are the problem, in a SHTF situation the best place-for me- is well away from others.
     
  33. Dilof

    Dilof New Member
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    I'd just say try to spark up a conversation in which it diverts from the main cause of panic or anxiety. When this doesn't work I really don't know what I'd do...
     
  34. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    get as far away from them as possible, someone like this could be the cause of your demise, trust no one.
     
  35. Tessa

    Tessa Member
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    With a lot of people, just having someone who is calm and authorative step up and say, "Okay, this is how things need to be done" settles them down in panic situations. I heard it a lot during the 911 dispatcher class I took, people who are panicking and hysterical would calm right down when the dispatcher took control of the call and gave them a person of authority to listen to.

    I have zero intention of seeking out strangers in a bad situation, but I do think it'll be handy to know how to cope with people anyway, just in case.
     
  36. Para173

    Para173 Well-Known Member
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    If you want to see calm under pressure, watch or talk to bomb handlers or bomb disposal people. Those guys are a special breed of calm. They're almost like they've had all their nerves surgically removed from their bodies. Their power of concentration is unique. They become so focused on a problem that they exclude just about everything else around them.

    The first thing people have to understand is that when trouble hits there never is a complete collapse. Things get bad, sure. Danger increases and lots of people get hurt, yes. But people, as a group, will gravitate to people who know or seem to know what they are doing or who seem organized. Once the tremors stop, the dust starts to settle or the explosions slacken, people will want to find somebody who can help them or lead them no matter who they are and no matter what rank they are. In some cases that means a gang leader will sometimes take the lead. In some areas, a police officer or fireman might take charge. In other areas a mayor or politician could end up in command. The key is it is often the personality of the person in the leadership role that decides who will be leading the show. That leadership role is often developed by years and years of experience in a leadership position like a military situation of some kind or a police/fire/rescue line of employment.

    Also keep in mind that after a major strike, we can not always save everybody or help everybody. There will be a certain number of people or a certain percentage of people that will refuse help or just can't be helped no matter how hard we try. The elderly man who loses his wife my refuse to be rescued and may knowingly die with her where she died. Incidents like that have happened down through history time and again. Same thing for elderly wives too. There are no rhyme nor reason to some of these deaths but you learn that you can't always save everybody no matter how much you plead, beg or coax.

    You do what you can to help as many as you can and move on to the next person or persons. One thing to keep in mind, the faster you get to the next group or person the better you increase their survival chances. That pretty much means you have to hustle from place to place and rescue site to rescue site.
     
  37. audacior

    audacior New Member
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    I agree that in times of danger, I would be more likely to help a friend/family member than a stranger. Unfortunately, there are too many victims for us to help them all and sometimes if we're faced with the choice, we would only help those closest to us.
     
  38. Lisa

    Lisa Active Member
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    I work in a hospital so I spend a lot of time looking after people who are scared and it's a skill that you have to develop. You need to stay as cool and steady as you can and keep whatever feelings of panic you may be having hidden away.
     
  39. martorano_e

    martorano_e New Member
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    It is very easy to want to help someone who is worried, the first step has to be protecting yourself. Make sure you of all people are in the correct state of mind for the given situation. Many people rush to calm a scared person, but you can only do that once you yourself is calm. Basic breathing techniques to slow your already racing heart rate while also reassuring yourself that everything is fine and that you'll be alright. Once you are have a solid mindset you can approach the scared person. We as humans are alike in the way we respond to drastic situations. The simplest way to keep your cool while assisting someone else is to think of what you would want someone to say to you if you were in their position. Reassurance is the best medicine for a frightened person. Making an action plan for your next steps in resolving the situation is also a good technique for calming nerves. Overall the most important thing is that you appear as calm as you can be, people look for that stability in times of need.
     
  40. Corzhens

    Corzhens Master Survivalist
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    This is not to brag. My husband is an expert when it comes to encouraging people who are scared. Take note that my husband has an anxiety attack in the past years and he is controlling it with medication (maybe 2 or 3 times in a year). But he has the convincing power to equip the minds of people in shedding off the fear. I used to be a worrier before I met him but now I have assurance when he is around. He always tell me that I have the mind to think so why think of the negative. And maybe he is right because I realize that after being with him for 30 years, I have changed a lot in terms of outlook.

    In giving moral support to a scared person, the first step is to have a firm voice. Talk like you are in complete control of the situation. Second is to cite past experiences that are easier to digest. It can be your anecdote or the experience of known people. In times of emergency, one person who is scared may contaminate the mind of others. That's the third step, to act at once before the fear spreads. And when it doesn't work, try coaxing with a bit of angst like you are challenging the patient (the person who is scared) on his mental, physical and emotional capabilities.
     
  41. lonewolf

    lonewolf Legendary Survivalist Staff Member
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    you cant help everyone in an emergency, no matter how much you may want to.
    in some situations it could be fatal to try. you have only one you, look out for yourself and those close to you first, everyone else comes second.
     
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